by Harriet Hairston
I made mention of Bruce Wilkinson’s book, “Experiencing Spiritual Breakthroughs” a couple of weeks ago, and after perusing my notes, I came across another “WOW” factor within his book. Keeping in mind that his book is Christian based, he outlined the specific instructions laid out in the Bible for different groups of people to follow:
Wives: Submit (Ephesians 5:22)
Husbands: Love (Ephesians 5:25)
Children: Obey and honor (Ephesians 6:1)
Fathers: Don’t exasperate (Ephesians 6:4)
Employees: Serve wholeheartedly (Ephesians 6:5)
Employers: Don’t threaten (Ephesians 6:9)
This is what I call getting back to the basics…the fundamentals of fulfilling our roles as husbands, wives, children, men and women in society. It sounds so simple, but we make it so complicated. Wives look upon the word “submission” like a curse word, and dare not offend the bra-burning movement of yesteryear to enact this fundamental choice. Husbands, on the other hand, seek to be respected so badly that they force their “headship” around like a golden scepter, daring a wife to come forth without being beckoned; thus they miss their fundamental duty to unconditionally and sacrificially love their wives.
How can we get back to the basics and beyond these self-seeking attitudes that erode the quality and intimacy from our married lives?
This particular article is for men only. Ladies, feel free to read it, but please don’t try to pat yourself on the back if you’re still standing at the end of the exercise I’m about to propose. Women are built to love and nurture…it comes naturally for us, not men.
That said, gentlemen, pretend as you’re reading that you’re in an auditorium with thousands of other men. The speaker asks all husbands to stand up and gives the following instructions:
“I’m going to read you 15 questions. If you cannot honestly say that you do what each question asks, be seated.”
1. Do you suffer patiently when your wife is being difficult?
2. Are you kind, regardless of how unkind your wife is?
3. Do you refuse to envy your wife or anything in her life?
4. Do you make a point of giving your wife credit/appreciation where it’s due?
5. Do you refuse to treat your wife rudely, in public or in private?
6. Do you choose to never demand that you get your own way?
7. Do you never express threatening or uncontrolled anger at your wife?
8. Do you never doubt your wife and wonder if she is really telling the truth?
9. Do you never secretly celebrate when something bad happens to your wife?
10. Do you tell your wife the truth, even when it’s difficult?
11. Do you bear whatever comes into your life?
12. Do you believe in your wife, even when she doesn’t believe in herself?
13. Do you hope for the best for your wife?
14. Do you endure and endure in your love for your wife?
15. Do you allow your love to never end?
These are the 15 questions Wilkinson asked based on 1 Corinthians 13, the biblical reference about the true definition of love. Gentlemen, if you wonder how you can get back to loving your wives the way you’re called to love her, start by doing the things asked on this list.
My questions for the BMWK men is: how many of you, after reading these 15 questions, can honestly say you’re still standing? If you are not, which questions made you sit down? Which questions do you consider yourself to be strong in?
God bless!
~ Harriet