Yesterday while sitting in rainy DC traffic I was listening to the Steve Harvey show and he said something I thought was interesting. They had just read a letter where a woman said she found a dark and bald headed brother on an Internet chat room This guy was her type so they met at a public place. When he arrived he was everything he described except for one thing he forget to mention. He was missing several teeth in his mouth. She said arms and teeth are what she’s attracted to the most but she wanted to give the guy a try so she keeps going out on dates with him.
To make a long story short she basically said she doesn’t like dating the guy because of his teeth and she feels like he doesn’t take care of his general appearance either but she’s trying to change him. She’s willing to work on him and make him better. All of this even though she acts like she doesn’t even like dating the man.
So Steve Harvey said women need to stop acting like they work at Home Depot. Trying to fix up men and take on projects. Stop assuming that you can change somebody once you invest time in a relationship or even a marriage. Stop trying to force a situation and instead wait on the man that God has purposed for your life.
BMWK family, what do you think about this? Good advice or just some radio rubbish? Have you been a Home Depot woman (I know my brothers don’t fall into this category :-)) before? If so when did you realize it was time to roll out?
GREAT advice! I think this will stop a lot of women from settling for less because they think their ideal mate is not out there.
I think it is good advice. However, I know a woman that helped to get her man some teeth and clothes and a job..and she loves her shiny new man.
TheMoms last blog post..Dear BMWK, Im a Depressed Dad
She better not clean him up to well, she may end up likeing him more and her competition is going to increase. LOL.
Sadly, I onece tried to help a brotha out and helped him to take the steps to realize his dreams. With each obstacle, I was supportive and help to provide all the necessary tools to support a successful business. Once that was done and there were no more excuses, I realized that he was more comfortable with the dream. Ultimately, he felt challenged and frustrated with making a strong, disaplined effort at making his business successful and found it easier to become resentful. I blamed myself on some level and was reimbursed to a degree, but I decided this was a true case of cutting your loses and moving on. It’s too bad kindness is taken for weakness.
I heard that one. I agree. We try to change men too much. Now the one who helped her man and he stayed, that’s different. It seems that he wanted the help, it wasn’t forced on him. It seems like he wasn’t the type to mooch off of his woman.