My daughter’s in a small Christian school for kindergarten this year. She’s learning all about creation and God’s grace and beauty in all things. She’s taken to the lessons in a big way and it makes me kind of bummed that I haven’t been doing this all along. We say prayer before meals and I teach her about being grateful and thankful and appreciative for all our blessings. But we don’t talk about Jesus every day and she only recently understood that our pastor is not God. (Which was a pretty fun conversation to have.)
But in truth, I’m still wrestling with my faith. I had some issues during my teen years that truly made me feel like there were only one set of footprints at times. I still struggle with my views on Jesus and God and heaven and hell. Of course I believe in God, but when it comes time to explain to my daughter what I believe and why I believe it and how strongly do I believe it, I realize my faith is a work in progress.
I am Christian and I do believe in God and I pray almost every day. But is that it? I don’t know. I feel like I’m growing into my spirituality and right now it’s a couple sizes too big. But having kids, in my face, asking me questions, is helping me sort it all out in a way that might not have happened otherwise.
For example, my daughter came home and talked about the creation story. Seven days, God created the earth. In her five-year-old mind, she wanted to know where God went. “Mommy, where did God go after he created all the people?”
“He didn’t go anywhere,” I said. “He just”...stayed where he was.”
“So where is he?”
“He’s here”...he’s all around us.”
She looked puzzled. “But I don’t see him.”
“I don’t see him either. You don’t see him. You feel him.”
She looked down as if God was touching her arm. “But”...”
“I know, sweetie. Sometimes it’s kind of confusing. But just know that he loves you. And is always looking out for you.”
My response seemed to comfort her and I think she’s starting to internalize some of our discussions. She came up to me a couple days ago and told me that she knew someone who loved her more than I did.
“And who is that?” I asked.
“Jesus!” she said with a smile. And that made me smile. Because I may not have all the answers about religion and my spirituality, I know I’m getting there one blog post, one day, one question from my kids at a time.
Tell me ““ did having kids change your view on religion? What are you teaching them in terms of spirituality and faith?
Niambi says
Aawww your daughter sounds so adorable! The bible says in Proverbs 22:6 to train up a child in the way that they should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. It sounds like you are doing a great job and your daughter is starting to understand the things that you are teaching her about the Lord.
Microwave Love says
Great Post! Although I have always been a Christian and have felt that my faith was strong, after growing up going to church just about daily, I reached a point in my life as an adult when I didn’t feel like being actively involved in a church was important and only went on occasion. After the birth of our son I realized that I wanted my kids to grow up learning those lessons about God that I did as a child and started going to church more regularly.
It’s also made me more aware of the example that I want to show as a Christian woman through my behavior to them. So I don’t know that it’s made my faith stronger, but it’s made me better at the practical application of it, if that makes any sense.
Marilyn says
Ever since I was a teenager I went to church everyday, I’m now in my early forties. Whenever, the pastor or whoever was preaching said something that stirred me, I always questioned them at bible study the following week. But, after a couple of years I realized they never actually answered my questions. They would always say well the question merits a long answer, and they would get back to it another time because my question was not the topic that they were on. I would be patient, and keep asking the same question for months, only to get the same answer. When I first had kids I still stayed at that church. They had their own bibles and bible related materials to keep them occupied.
At around the age of 4 or 5 I started listening to the services from their point of view. What I heard disturbed me. Listening from the understanding and maturity that an adult has is totally different from a young child’s mind. When I confronted my husband about how some of the things being said to and about young men, was not a good thing for our young boys to hear, he didn’t see it. I gave him specific examples in the car on the way home from church in the car, while I had children CD playing so the children wouldn’t have to listen to the conversation. I talk to my children about everything. But I use age specific language. You can’t speak to a child with adult language and expect them to fully understand what you are saying.
Having children has made me less tolerant. Before children I would just questioned and let it go when things weren’t answered. Having kids has allowed me to take it to the next level by not allowing anything that sounds unjust and obscure to just festure. I would say to my husband repeataly that their is something that doesn’t sound like common sense. Like the bible says God is a god of order and not confusion. Since he never wanted to question anything. But bible says we have to be like Bereans. Whatever you are taught you must search the scriptures to see if it conforms to the bible. Since this church was under the impression that they were the only ones who had the truth truth. They felt whatever was said we should just follow blindly and never question. Having children has allowed me to leave such a place and put them in a more balanced environment.
Happyhomemaker87 says
Interesting article. I pray that you will grow more in the word because as you learn more about the word and how to apply it to your walk with the Lord, it’ll help you more in your parenting and all other areas of your life. So, PLEASE continue to seek how to grow in your faith.
My children have been a blessing by keeping me on my knees!! LOL Praying for wisdom, patience, humility, and so much more. God uses them to reveal areas in my life where I need to continue to give things over to Him and areas where I just don’t know! Intimacy is so needed in your relationship with the Lord. I can’t parent no other way.