I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage next August. And while I am grateful and looking forward to the celebration, I want to make sure I keep in mind what it took for us to get here. A lot of our challenges surfaced in the beginning when we both had more growing to do. My bad habits and selfishness along with his struggle to communicate the way I wanted/needed him to were an interesting combination to say the least. Once I got over myself and he started opening up a little bit more, things improved. Now that we are in a good place, I don’t ever want our flame to fizzle. Here’s my plan:
I will energize myself in order to energize my marriage. Taking care of children and home all drain me at times. There are actual things I can do including taking vitamins, getting the proper rest and asking for help when I feel worn out. Trying to be a superwoman is going to cost me special intimate time with my superman. My children are at just the right ages to have more responsibility so I don’t feel so overwhelmed. When I feel rejuvenated and rested, everyone in the home benefits, including the relationship.
I am determined to stay focused on my goal of peace and joy. With this, I know I have to humble myself, choose my words carefully, be in tune with my intentions and practice love in everything I do. My love for my husband should always be evident in how I treat and speak to him. My responsibility as his wife is to never do anything purposely to hurt him.
I will not bury the greatest parts of me, even when I am upset with my husband and feel he doesn’t deserve to experience the best of me. I will always work at looking and feeling my best. Bringing out the spirited side of me and not allowing the stress and pressures of the world alter who I truly am, especially in my marriage.
Another part of my plan is to simply put forth a greater effort. Knowing that I am only responsible for my own actions and reactions helps to relinquish any needs I may have to control my spouse. I will express myself honestly and lovingly and allow him to do the same. Anger, chaos and confusion are not welcome in my marriage. I pledge not to be too sensitive, nor take everything personally and I will be solution focused. I promise not to play the shut down game and keep the lines of communication open.
Yes, marriage is challenging. Some days are easier than others. It’s easier to go through the motions than to put forth a greater effort in keeping our marriages thriving. I am personally not willing to allow my marriage flame to fizzle. I am going to do my part and effectively manage my half of the relationship. It is my hope that other couples will join me in the fight to keep our marriages alive and well.
BMWK, what are you doing to keep the marriage flaming burning?