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How Overnight Guests Can Strain A Marriage

Feature | How Overnight Guests Can Strain A Marriage | how to handle guests, spring clean your marriage, divorce

Having overnight guests in your home can be a double-edged sword. It can be fun to meet friends and relatives you have not seen for a long time. On the other hand, it can take a turn for the worse and be a nightmare.

In this article:

  1. The Impact of Overnight Guests No One Told You About
  2. The Rambunctious Brother
  3. The Disruptive Sister
  4. How to Deal with Having Overnight Guests

The Effects of Having Overstaying Overnight Guests

 

The Impact of Overnight Guests No One Told You About

I bought a house with spare rooms to make sure overnight guests can stay comfortably. My mom, though, used to joke I shouldn’t get a guest room. People will feel more than welcome to stay at my house. I thought it was mean, but now I understand. Having overstaying guests can put a strain on our relationship. It places us in a funky place.

I’ve never been one for entertaining for long periods of time in the first place. I used to live with my grandparents. There were several occasions when my grandpa (who loves to entertain) invited his relatives to stay at the house instead of the two perfectly capable hotels around the corner. I often had to give up my room to distant cousins, then I had to sleep on the pull-out bed in the couch in the living room.

However, having someone hog your bathroom and junk up your room isn’t the only way guests can get on your nerves.

The Rambunctious Brother

A couple of months ago, my husband found out he had a brother no one knew about. He came and met the family. He also stayed in our area for a couple weeks.

The brother had been staying with an uncle about an hour away. Then he decided to stay with the hubby’s parents. Later, the brother lived with me and my husband, who wanted to show hospitality by offering our guest room. He, though, brought his girlfriend along, and no one knew she was coming with him.

The overnight stay was quite the experience. The couple was loud, and they wanted to party. They ate a lot, and boy, did they eat. They stayed longer than we anticipated. They even tried to hang around longer! When they finally went home, we felt relief.

The Disruptive Sister


Later, we let another extended family stay overnight or two. We kept my 18-year-old sister while my dad was out of town. I thought it would be easier to have her as a visitor than my brother-in-law and his girlfriend.
No, it’s a different kind of difficult. She’s sort of thrown off our routine. We had another person to consider when we’re having a meal. Our dog was intrigued we had someone else in the house for more than a few hours. Our entertainment choices were different since we wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. It was less of our television choices and more of hers. Learning how to handle guests at home was stressful.

How to Deal with Having Overnight Guests

When you have overnight house guests staying with you, whether they’re staying on your couch or in your spare room, you have some added pressure. If you and your spouse aren’t on the same page, you don’t want to argue in front of company.

Depending on whose company it is, one may feel they’re a reflection of the person who invited them to stay. It can prove to be a financial hardship, especially if they’re using up all your groceries and utilities. To lessen the toll a visitor may have on your marriage, ask these questions first:

 

If you’re ready to welcome your overnight guests, here are some DIY storage solutions to help you out from Cityline:

There’s nothing wrong with offering your house to overnight guests. However, it should also not be worth the trouble or, worse, strain in the marriage. It’s essential both of you learn to agree to accept visitors or to compromise. Otherwise, get rid of the guest room.

Have you ever had an overnight guest who overstayed their welcome? How did you handle it? Share your experience in the comments section below.

Up Next: Money Monday Rewind: Should You Lend Money To Friends Or Relatives? 

 

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on January 24, 2012, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.

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