There are a lot of people that desire to have better marriages, but they don’t know what to say or do to get started. Things have been bad for so long that they don’t know the first step towards turning things around. Well sometimes, words are not enough. Sometimes you have to stop talking about a better marriage…and how you have changed…and how things should be…… And you have to just start doing it. Put your words into action.
Amy Morin, LSCW, says that you don’t always have to have a “long-winded” conversation in order to make positive changes in your relationship. Amy provides the following 5 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Without Saying a Word:
1. Have Fun Together
Couples sometimes get stuck in a rut. They do the same thing day in and day out which can get boring. Going to work, caring for children, and keeping up with the household responsibilities sometimes doesn’t leave much time and energy to have fun together a as a couple. However, doing some fun activities together can put a spark back in your marriage.
In fact, the more exciting the activities are the better is for your relationship. Pleasurable activities are good but when couples do activities they both find to be particularly exciting, they tend to rate their relationship as much more exciting as well.
So take up skydiving, start a business together, climb a mountain or do whatever it is that the two of you find to be exciting. Many couples lose sight of what they even find to be exciting so don’t be afraid to try something new. You may discover you’ve got a hidden talent for the flying trapeze or fundraising for a charity when you give it a shot.
2. Touch Each Other
Physical touch does wonderful things for couples. A gentle squeeze on the arm, kiss on the cheek or a hug before you get out of bed can set the tone for the day. There’s a lot of research out there that suggests physical touch can do a lot for a relationship.
When you behave affectionately, it impacts your feelings. So, hugging and kissing can actually make you feel more loving toward your spouse. So go ahead and hold hands or cuddle up on the couch together and rekindle some loving feelings.
3. Communicate Non-Verbally
Your facial expressions, gestures and non-verbal cues speak volumes. Think about what a mean glare communicates in contrast to a wink and a smile. The way you look at your spouse can certainly be worth a thousand words.
Non-verbal gestures often become a habit and people sometimes aren’t even aware they are doing them. For example, when someone rolls their eyes at their spouse a dozen times a day, they are likely to almost become immune to the fact that they keep doing this. So, be aware of your non-verbal gestures and how they impact your relationship.
Use your non-verbal communication to communicate loving feelings. Offer a smile from across the room. Cut tension with a silly dance. Show your excitement with your face. Non-verbal gestures play a big role in the overall communication style and by focusing on them, you can learn to change your non-verbal communication for the better.
Check out Amy’s remaining tips on The Marriage Counseling Blog.
BMWK – How do you plan to make improvements in your marriage this year?