Things have been difficult in the Jefferson household lately, as my transition to being a work-at-home mom after a layoff hasn’t gone as well as I’d like. I’m constantly stressed about money, my inability to keep the house clean, and whether or not I’m spending enough time with my kids as I try to manage my workload.
Every day, when my husband comes home, I try my best to give him the space he needs to unwind after the office. But more often than not, there is something I could use his immediate assistance with: Could he please grab the rolls out the oven while I take our son upstairs to get a new shirt? Could he clean up the applesauce the kids spilled earlier while I finish dinner? Could he grab at least one of these kids and get them out of my hair long enough for me to take a breath?
Like a champ, he’ll jump right in and wipe up spills or set the table or wrestle with the kids on the floor while I go to the bathroom in peace. When I’m stressing out my freelance payments coming late, or doubting my abilities to really make it big without a NYC zip code, he’s right there to give me the “Girl, you got this” pep talk, even if he just gave me the same speech the day before.
When I think about our wedding day, as I stood there pledging those vows, I didn’t quite realize what I was getting myself into. I didn’t understand the magnitude of the day.
Now, I realize – THIS is why I got married. To have that person be there when you don’t quite believe in yourself. To lean on when you are weak. To complement you in ways you didn’t anticipate.
We fit together in a way that becomes more and more apparent with each passing day. I’m really glad we chose each other. He knows what I don’t. He’s calm when I’m not. He’s logical while I’m fiery. We fit. I asked him, jokingly, last week why he puts up with my mess. He laughed and said, “Yeah, you’re a mess, but you’re my mess.”
I admit that being married to me isn’t always fun. I’m picky, sarcastic and I have an unrelenting ambition that makes it very hard for me to simply enjoy the here and now. I have my issues and I’m working on me, one day at a time. But he never ever throws my flaws in face, and instead loves me as I am. That is something so beautiful about our marriage that I try to cherish every day.
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer, blogger and PR professional living in Ohio with her husband and two kids. She’s managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.