With all the stress and worry this world can inflict upon us, it’s important to create a space in our life where there is peace and joy. For me, this space is my home, with my family and within my marriage. I can’t imagine not having an outlet or a safe haven where I can flee the frustration of politics, my job and negative people I may encounter everyday.
My marriage has to feel good to me. Now it will not just magically be that safe space for me without any effort on my part. Both my husband and I have to decide that we want that sense of peace for our relationship. Once the decision is made, our actions then have to be in alignment with that goal.
If this is also one of your goals as a couple, here are a few suggestions for making your marriage your safe haven:
Pray for peace and joy in your marriage.
Ask God for it and expect it to happen. As you pray and ask God for peace and joy in your home, also ask for Him to remove those obstacles that may block you and your spouse from having those things. Whether it’s temptation, laziness, procrastination or anger, ask God to help you and your spouse in that area, so you can thrive as a couple.
Leave the drama outside the door.
Any drama or negativity that happens at work, should stay at work. Your spouse doesn’t deserve it. If you weren’t bold enough to manage the conflict on your job, there isn’t any reason your spouse has to be your emotional punching bag. Remember if they weren’t the cause of your frustration, don’t make them feel the brunt of it.
Look for 3 things to be grateful for everyday.
Sometimes, all we can do is focus on what didn’t work. However, if you took time to focus on all the things that did work, you’d be surprised. There are so many things that actually could go wrong within a day, so being grateful will definitely shift your perspective. As you discover the three things to be grateful for each new day, be sure to share them with your spouse. This positivity could easily become contagious within your marriage.
Find an outlet to release your frustration.
I understand it isn’t always easy to just turn off the disappointment and turn on the happy. It’s a process. One that sometimes requires a little something outside of ourselves. If you struggle with this, please be proactive in finding a solution. You don’t have to stay stuck in that negative space. There are resources and professionals that can help you navigate through those feelings. Remember, you aren’t any good to anyone if you aren’t good to yourself first. You can also take a class or participate in exercises that focus on managing your anger, if that’s needed. Again, you have to be proactive in your own healing.
Spend time with other happy couples.
Seeing how other couples navigate through certain challenges could be beneficial to you and your spouse. If you don’t know any happy couples, expand your search. Look for marriage ministries, on meet-ups that focus on strengthening relationships. Even spending time in places where couples go might connect you to other happy couples.
Again, in a world where anger and sadness seem to be more present than ever, we need a safe space to breathe, relax and just be. That space should always be your home, within your marriage. If you aren’t there just yet, don’t fret, the steps above will get you started.
BMWK, how do you make your marriage your safe haven?