Once you get married and start a family, you may find it difficult to get in the mood. Demanding careers, busy schedules, and needy children can definitely cause intimacy to be placed on the back burner.
Although that may be understandable, you can’t just sit back and settle into this way of life as if it’s the norm. I mean, do you want to end up in one of those sexless marriages? Are you in one right now?
Having a healthy sex life is a key component to any healthy marriage.
Don’t panic if your sex life leaves you feeling unimpressed and disappointed. That is a harsh reality for many couples. However, if you are both willing to work on things, there is certainly hope.
So what can you do to get things poppin’ in the bedroom again?
The answer to that largely depends on what the issues are. Trust me, there are many to choose from:
- Fatigue
- Busy Schedules
- Loss of interest since not being romanced
- Deeper issues, like infidelity and trust
Knowing the answers to these questions will give you some insight into why your love life is really suffering and how much work needs to be done before you can get things back on track.
If your marriage is suffering from issues that you know are deep in nature, reading this may not offer a ton of help because you need to address the deeper stuff before any of these tips can matter.
But, if you know the root of your issues simply has to do with being busy or not being able to get in the mood, here are 5 mood killers that may be interfering with the chemistry in your bedroom. Address them and you may actually spark that flame once again.
Always using alone time to have a major discussion.
When you have a busy life it can often feel like any time away from work and the kids is the time to discuss important issues. And, my experience allows me to totally understand and appreciate that, but you can’t let that happen every time.
When you have moments alone together, don’t automatically turn to important issues. Sometimes you need to use that time to just connect with each other on an intimate level.
Doing so will actually make it easier for you to engage in the deeper discussions when the right time comes.
Failure to invest in your appearance.
Nothing makes you more comfortable than waking up next to the same person daily. But, even with that, don’t let yourself go.
Try to put some care and effort into how you look. Although the person who married you will love you know matter what, it sure is nice for them to look at you and feel like you still care about how you look.
It makes you feel better and more confident, and it makes them feel like you still want to impress them. It’s a win-win.
Having distractions present.
The kids are in bed and your spouse comes into the bedroom with the hopes of getting intimate with you. And they encounter this:
- The television is on
- Your cell phone chimes every time you get a new message on Facebook
- You are working on your laptop
If that’s not a mood-killer, I don’t know what is. Try to eliminate all the distractions in your bedroom to set the mood and show your partner you are interested in being distracted by him or her.
Letting your kids take over your space.
I don’t know about your kids, but mine can take over my entire house if we don’t keep them contained.
It’s okay if you let your kids venture into your bedroom, but don’t let them take over. It’s hard to stay in the mood when you see toys all around you, stuffed animals on your bed, and there are weird toy noises going off.
Try to limit how much kid stuff ends up in your space so you can set the mood with ease when the time comes.
Not showing interest.
The minute your spouse senses that you are just not interested in them, the mood is ruined.
You have to do something to show that you are interested in spending time alone with your mate and being intimate.
Everything from your attire, to your body language, to the tone in your voice sends a message about how interested you really are. Make the person you love feel wanted.
It matters.
BMWK family, what are some things that ruin the mood for you?