One of the most quoted verses on marriage in the bible is Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Many times we have taken the meaning of this scripture’s right to marriage, being God’s point here. Well, it isn’t. When God said it is not good for man to be alone, he was referring to friendship.
God created us for each other to the degree that there are over 59 mentions of each other in the New Testament. God intended that friendship be the foundation of any and all relationships, especially ones that will become intimate.
It is the friendship within a relationship that you will spend majority of your time exercising and developing. Many couples get married expecting sexual intimacy to keep the romance alive, when actually a great love life is the byproduct of two friends that have chosen to love each other in spite of flaws, insecurities, and shortcomings.
Mark Driscoll states a profound statement in regards to friendship in marriage, “While it only takes one spouse to be friendly, it takes both spouses to be friends. When both spouses are unfriendly, the marriage is marked by conflict and coldness. When one spouse is friendly and the other is unfriendly, the marriage is marked by selfishness and sadness. But when both spouses each make a deep, heartfelt covenant with God, to continually seek to become a better friend, increasing love and laughter mark the marriage.
When my wife and I hit a moment in our marriage that required us to be honest about a small issue, we both recognized it had the potential to grow into a larger issue. It wasn’t a challenge to our love life, but rather to our friendship. We had to dig into our friendship in order to listen to one another without putting up a defensive wall layered with pride and fear. It is these moments that make or break a marriage. Friends and lovers are two people that are committed to each other no matter the cost.
In your marriage the key to making it through the good, bad, and ugly is by intentionally becoming better friends. Friends that talk to each other daily, celebrate victories together, and let each other in on their secrets. Your marriage will stand the test of time when you learn to laugh more, and love harder.
BMWK, Are you friends with your spouse or only lovers?