Love and respect are two key ingredients for a successful marriage. While Lamar and I were travelling back to MD from the ATL I listened to a lot of talk radio. This drove Lamar crazy. But hey it’s the driver’s choice. And when you drive, then you are in charge of the radio. For me, I was a little worn out by the ATL radio and just needed a break from the music.
Anyway on one program that I listened to, the topic was love and respect in marriage. They were basically stating that men are looking for respect from their wives and women are looking for love from their husbands.I did not hear the entire program, but the parts I heard made me think.
At one point, the guest, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, said if you want your husband to become the man you want him to be, then you have to show him respect. You really can’t expect positive results when you are being disrespectful to your partner. He said a man needs to be respected regardless of his performance. As he was stating that, I could imagine that many women were out there stating: “You don’t know my husband….that !@#$% does not deserve any respect.” Likewise,men need to love their wives (because love is a woman’s greatest need.) Often times when a woman is lashing out and being disrespectful, it’s because she is seeking love from her spouse. In such a situation, a man should recognize that he has a good wife and should step up to be a better man and love his wife through that situation as opposed to doing what a lot of men do ..which is to distance themselves from the situation (which is exactly opposite to what the woman really wants.)
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (author of the book Love and Respect) says:
“Well, Ephesians 5:33 commands husbands to love their wives, so I assume from that there must be something within the nature of a woman that needs to feel love for who she is, and because women are commanded to respect, there must be something within the heart of the man that needs that. And, as we’ve said, that when a woman feels unloved, unfortunately, she reacts in ways that feel disrespectful. When a husband feels disrespected, he reacts in ways that are unloving.”
During the program they said men and women get caught in this crazy cycle where the woman is disrespecting the man and the man is not providing enough love. How many couples have you seen in such a cyle? Just caught up in the craziness. Not able to step out of the situation and rise above it. To do this they have to recognize that they have a good partner that has good intentions…which is why they married this person in the first place….right??? This sounds like it is very hard to do because it is not natural to be loving towards a person that is being disrespectful to you.
So overall, I agree with this. But my situation may be different from another person’s situation as Lamar is already a loving husband.
BMWK Family – What do you think about respecting your husband especially when you feel like doing just the opposite. What do you think about loving your wife through a situation when she is being disrespectful?