Ladies, we already know we are each uniquely and wonderfully made. We are so beautifully different. When we marry, we marry because of the love and beauty we see in our spouse inside and out. However, when we marry, we are not yet tailored for one another.
You see my desire is to be well-suited for my husband—to fit him like a glove. In order to do this, some tailoring has to take place. You see when we first got married 29 years ago I was well suited for my parents house. When I got married I had to learn what was fitting for my new home and well-suited for my husband. He had to do the same.
To accommodate my husband, I didn’t have to change my God-given traits. But I did have to tailor my learned behavior for the good of my marriage. Though I’m fairly reserved as a person, I admit I can have a strong and opinionated personality. And sometimes these personalities can be the hardest to bend in the direction of compromise. So how did I become tailored to fit my husband?
Here are three suggestions that helped me get started.
1. Hang Up the Boss Lady Hat at the Door
You may be the boss lady at work or with the children at home. However, your husband doesn’t need a boss or someone to tell him what to do. Change roles when needed. Know when it’s the right time to be executive, mommy, lover, buddy, etc. in your relationship. And above all, you’re going to have to excel at playing the role of partner.
2. Respect His Opinion Even When He’s Wrong
Now, agreement and respect are two different things. Even when you don’t agree you can still respect. Respect is very important to men. Honoring his thoughts and beliefs is a way to honor him.
To be tailor-made means to fit perfectly. You can’t be too tight and unyielding in your relationship—nor too loose. So, yes, there will be moments when you disagree in your marriage. But as a tailor-made wife, you should be able to respect his position, give up ground when appropriate and courteously seek compromise.
3. Never Correct Him in Front of Family or Friends
He will not get it right all the time. No one does. When you know he’s wrong, save telling him he’s wrong until you are in private. If it’s a small matter or a non-issue, ask yourself if you really need to bring it up. A good rule of thumb is to praise in public, correct in private.
The tailoring process between husband and wife takes change and time. But in the end, you will fit your man like a custom-made glove.
My 24-year-old son has a particular suit, every time he wears it, he gets so many compliments. He asked why does he get so many compliments in this suit. My answer: because the suit is custom-made for you. It’s tailor-made to fit only you. Good gosh, can you see that picture. Now transfer that to your marriage.
Can you imagine the sense of oneness your relationship will experience when you and your husband are tailored for one another?
In every relationship someone has to take the first step. Take a step to be tailored to perfection for your mate. These are just three suggestions on how you can become a perfectly-made fit for your husband. Just know the process will be an ongoing journey of understanding your husband and adapting to the best ways to suit him.
Be sure to watch his nonverbal communication as well as pay attention to his words. He may be telling you just what he needs and desires for you. And, ladies, be sure to clearly express what you need from him (don’t just allude to it).
With enough practice and preparation, you will both master that perfect precision of a tailor-made fit.
BMWK, what other ways have you adapted to become suited to your spouse?