By Eric Payne
A friend of mine recently got engaged to the love of her life. As she shared the details of the proposal with me I couldn’t help but think: But they only met three or four months ago. I’ve wished them both well and definitely believe they have their heads screwed on straight, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t initially concerned for my friend. But then I began to think about it. They’re both close in age. They’re in their thirties and they both are certain they have no need to look any further. So why drag out a relationship? I can’t disagree with the logic, even if the newness of their love is the major motivating factor behind it. But shouldn’t love play this role versus all the other stuff that men and women put between them? In my own case I knew my wife was the one for me, but I didn’t know if I was the one for marriage. In my pursuit to be sure (this included everything from managing my own insecurities to witnessing several friends’ divorces) it took me seven years to say, “I do” and I picked up a baby girl along the way. Hindsight is 20/20 but I don’t regret my path. Nor do I envy the one my friend is currently embarking on. I applaud her for finding and acting quickly on love.
There are no rules when it comes to falling in love, but is there such a thing as falling in love and jumping the broom too soon? When considering marriage should a man and a woman be certain, or is it more romantic to take the plunge, feet-first?
Eric Payne lives with his wife and kids just outside of New York City and writes about married life and fatherhood at MakesMeWannaHoller.com. He also writes a fatherhood column at MochaManual.com. He is the author of I See Through Eyes, a book of poetry and short stories. His short fiction has appeared in Spindle Magazine and DiddleDog Magazine.