From time to time quite a few marriages experience periods of not seeing eye to eye, feelings of frustration and thoughts of defeat . Sometimes couples can clearly see the route that lead down that undesirable road. Other times, circumstances build up until they can’t even pinpoint exactly what brought them there. As a result, hurt, disappointment and wanting to call it quits become natural reactions.
Even when the outlook appears dismal, there is good news. If both partners are willing, a marriage can survive anything. I have personally witnessed couples overcome infidelity, financial struggles and health challenges. So I know it is possible to save a relationship. If you feel like your marriage is on the brink of destruction, take action immediately! Don’t be a bystander watching it crash and burn.
Couples must always be aware of what is happening in their relationship. Keep in mind, minor issues eventually lead to major concerns when they aren’t handled with urgency. We must examine our marriages, look for signs of bigger problems and make corrections where needed. Here are a few signs to be cognizant of:
An absence of mutual respect is a definite red flag. Not saying good morning or good night are not healthy ways to behave in a grown up relationship. Even when we are not necessarily feeling our spouse at the moment, we have to always maintain a level of respect for them just as another human being. We can do this by being aware of the tone we use to address our mates. There should be love and patience present in our communication. Respect is the bare minimum of any partnership.
Problem focused and not solution focused is another tell-tell sign. Some are content on living in a drama filled relationship. For those who are not, take a personal inventory and look for ways you can improve personally. Don’t worry about what the other partner has to work on, strictly focus on you and your growth.
Bad mouthing or speaking negatively to others ,including children, about our partners will cause absolute destruction. The areas we are most concerned with should be shared only with our partner. They have to be given an opportunity to improve. Our job as a life partner should be to build up. We must bite our tongue whenever we feel that negative spirit kicking in.
A lack of physical communication is another clear warning. There has to be a physical connection. Even if yours has been disconnected it’s time to reconnect. Holding hands, a warm morning hug or a kiss goodnight are small ways to bring touch back into the marriage. This is a basic human need.
I am always optimistic when it comes to love and marriage. There is always hope when neither partner has walked away. It is possible to lure a marriage back from destruction. Ideally, we want to be aware and catch these behaviors in the beginning, before they become the new normal in our relationship. I am challenging anyone struggling to fight for your relationship and nurse it back to health.
BMWK, if your marriage is struggling, what are you willing to do to bring it back from destruction?