by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Through college and most of adulthood I was considered a matchmaker. I had a knack for knowing who would fit together perfectly. Lately, I have been using those same matchmaking skills on my husband. This requires an explanation, so here it is. I can’t pick my husband’s friends, but if I could, there are a few I would suggest. Some months back I heard the term “man date” on a sports radio show and it immediately caught my attention because I had been guilty of trying to plan several of them. A “man date” was described as an outing for a couple of guys set up by their wives or girlfriends. Or it could also be done in the presence of the wives/girlfriends. The ladies all sit together and leave the guys in a separate area to get to know one another.
Yes, I have introduced my guy to the boyfriends/husbands of my friends in the hopes they would hit it off and make us one big happy friend-family. I can admit to being in cahoots with my girlfriends in getting our guys to hang out. My thinking was that the guys could possibly develop a great friendship if they just took the time to get to know one another. Now this is not to say anything negative about my husband’s current friends because they are great. It’s just that these other guys would normally have so much in common with my husband. I wanted him to be open to adding new friends. Most men might look at this as me trying to take control. Of course he can pick his own friends; I just offered recommendations, though unsuccessfully.
What I learned in the process is that if the guys are interested in hanging out they are more than capable of planning something on their own, if they so choose. So, for now I am hanging up my matchmaking hat…. for now.
Men, have your wives/girlfriends ever tried to set you up on a “man date”? Ladies, if you have tried it before what was your approach? Is this a good idea or is it just meddling and controlling?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Founder of Life Editing, creator of The Black Wives’ Club and an Administrator of Still Dating My Spouse.