Everyone wants to be an expert in love. Ever notice how many people have an opinion on what you should do in your relationship? Certain people may mean well, but you don’t –nor should you—have to accept every piece of relationship advice offered.
Couples have to be selective when it comes to sharing the challenges they experience in their relationship. Surprisingly, everyone in your circle isn’t always rooting for you to succeed. I know it’s hard to hear, but in some cases, it’s a reality, and you must be prepared for it. It’s also important that you recognize and separate the good advice from the bad while remembering in the end, only you and your partner can decide what’s truly best for your relationship.
If you can help it, here are five types of people you should avoid receiving marriage advice from:
1. Someone who is jaded by love is sometimes speaking from a place of pain and disappointment. Perhaps they didn’t have the best love experience, so their goal is to warn others. If they are overly pessimistic about love and marriage, please run in the opposite direction when they go telling you what to do in love. You must remember your relationship is your own, and it can’t be compared to anyone else’s. Just because that person was hurt doesn’t mean your relationship will end the same way.
2. “Yes” people make great supporters but not necessarily good advice givers. Our yes friends will tell us what we want to hear. In their minds, we can do no wrong. But is that healthy for us to hear when it comes to our marriage? After all, we make mistakes too. You need people in your life who will tell you the truth or stop you from acting like a fool in your relationship. Even if it hurts, there will be times when we will need a counter opinion if it helps open you up to see the larger picture, not just your side. With honest guidance, you can then make positive changes.
You must remember your relationship is your own, and it can’t be compared to anyone else’s.
3. Irrational and irresponsible people make decisions without thoroughly thinking them through. The advice they give sometimes matches their lifestyle. You can’t expect anyone to give you sound advice if they haven’t actually sat down and considered your own individual situation. Marriage is for mature folks only. Decisions can’t be made on a whim.
4. Those living in a fairy tale can’t understand the reality of relationship challenges. If they can’t admit that they’ve had difficulties in their own relationship, they probably aren’t the best person to seek advice from. Their advice might be too cookie-cutter and not the real stuff you would need to hear. Couples need people who can relate to what they’re going through. Someone who hasn’t had or isn’t willing to admit their struggle will probably do more harm than good.
5. Someone who can’t stay committed to another person doesn’t know what it takes to keep a relationship alive. Though they may think their experience is the best teacher, what can they truly tell you about love if they haven’t stayed in a relationship long enough to know? This person might not be aware of the sacrifices needed in a marriage or about creating solutions to make the partnership work. If they aren’t familiar with the key ingredients of marriage, they may not be the go-to person for topics on love. Remember, your relationship is your own. There will be others who think they know what’s best for you, but in the end you and your partner will always have the final say on what happens in your marriage.
BMWK, what other types of people would you not seek relationship advice from?