Daylight Savings Time ended a couple weekends ago, and we all turned our clocks back one hour. The sun is setting earlier, and many of us are winding down sooner. We reset our clocks twice a year, gaining an hour in the fall and losing an hour in the spring. Although these dates change annually, we expect it and adjust our clocks each time. We should do the same in our marriages.
When you’re with someone for a long time, it’s only natural that you get comfortable. You may not be out to impress them anymore since you’ve got them. Life gets in the way. Your conversations shift from questions about your husband to questions about the bills. You stop surprising your wife with new moves in the bedroom and stick to the 3 positions (and places) that you’re used to. Things become routine, predictable, and boring.
Setting the clock back on your marriage means going back in time and reliving the things that made the two of you fall in love in the first place. You hear from so many couples, “I miss when we used to do this” or “We never go anywhere anymore.” So why not schedule some time to revisit those moments? Incorporate a few Marriage Saving Time events in your year, since these things can truly save your marriage from being stuck in a rut.
- Visit relationship landmarks: Remember where you first met? Your first date? Your first kiss? Go to places that mean something to you, places that were pivotal in your relationship. Maybe it’s somewhere you used to go regularly or somewhere you’ve only gone once but meant to go back because you had such a great time. Being in a place from the past brings back nostalgic feelings and can remind you of great times you spent together.
- Look at old pictures: I love to look at old pictures of my husband and I, and laughing about what happened that day or what was going on at that time. We used to take a lot of pictures when we were dating, and can usually remember the day we took them. Grab your photo albums and your computer and create a slideshow of your memories. Also, grab a camera and start making new ones. I’m making it a point to take more pictures now that we’re married to look back on later on.
- Reacquaint yourselves with each other: You may think you know your spouse like the back of your hand, but some couples fail to realize that things change. You may need a refresher course on your spouse. Ask questions you’re pretty sure you know, or even the ones you know you forgot. It happens! As you grow together, you naturally become different people. When people say “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore” it’s true. Avoid that and learn things about your significant other all over again.
- Renew your vows: Remember how in love you were on your wedding day, and how you knew this marriage was forever? Remind yourself and your husband or wife by renewing your vows. Some couples do it for milestone years, some do it because they didn’t get to have the lavish wedding they wanted, and some do it every year! Plan your vow renewal how you want, either with all your friends and family or an intimate ceremony for the two of you. Assure your spouse that you meant those words, then and now.
Being married is the ultimate commitment, and the ultimate challenge. It’s easy to get lost in other roles, become distant, and fall out of love with your partner. Put those old feelings back into motion by setting the clock back on your marriage occasionally.