by Tara Pringle Jefferson
The more I chose to focus on the positives, the better my marriage becomes.
The more I chose to listen to my husband, the more he tends to open up and let me in to his innermost thoughts.
The more I ask for help in keeping the house clean, the more my husband takes the initiative to tackle chores on his own.
The more I show gratitude for those “little things,” the more the little things happen.
The more I bite my tongue when I fear I may say something cruel, the less often the cruel thoughts even occur in the first place.
The more I pray about a particular matter, the more clarity I receive in approaching a solution.
It seems that most of the things that improve my marriage are a big ol’ “Duh!” I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that I only get out of my marriage what I put into it. It’s really that simple.
Whatever it is you need to do to make your relationship better, you probably already know what it is you need to do. And usually – the answer starts with you. Since you can’t make anyone else change, any true improvement you seek will have to start on your end. Don’t make it complicated.
Start by smiling more. Being pleasant first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all the times in between. Keep work stuff at work. Don’t let money woes turn you against each other. Remember to make time for each other. Communicate about the little issues before they become big issues.
BMWK, do you think people make marriage more complicated than it needs to be? How do you step back and make your relationship a little simpler?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.