Ever since I was a young girl, I wanted to get married. At the time, I probably didn’t understand much about what marriage meant. My parents weren’t married, and I didn’t spend much time around married couples. I just knew that the dresses were gorgeous and wanted to walk down that aisle and tell someone I would be with them forever.
As I matured, I began to understand more about marriage. The more I understood, the longer forever felt. It also seemed like a lot of hard work. I thought, “how can I possibly spend my whole life with someone without them driving me crazy?” It seemed almost impossible. But, as I continued to mature, I began to see that with the bad comes some incredibly good stuff. I realized that marriage surely is hard work, but the benefits are plentiful and, ultimately, it’s worth every single challenge.
Last week my mother had a stroke. It was one of those moments in life where I quickly appreciated all of the reasons that led me to marry the man that I chose (and who chose me). He has been my rock since my mother’s stroke: giving the kids what I can’t because I am stretched too thin, providing me with love and support, being there for my mother, and telling me when I need to calm down and take a deep breath. His love has sustained me.
As my mother recovers, I know that I will continue to find strength in him. I also know that he will help me adjust to this “new normal” that I wasn’t planning on at all. The events of the last week remind me that marriage is about so much more than love. It’s about patience and understanding. It’s about taking the bad as readily as you take the good. It’s about understanding that your life changes the moment your spouse’s life changes. It’s about standing by someone’s side – for better or worse.
Of course I got married because I love my husband, and I believe that love is a beautiful thing. But I also got married because I wanted to have and raise children with a man who shares my values and beliefs. I got married because life is as painful as it is joyous, and sharing such a wondrous journey with someone who has vowed to stand by my side is an amazing thing. I got married because I know that navigating this thing called life without a partner is no easy feat. I am glad I decided to walk down the aisle and say, “I do.” I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
I know that things will change a lot for my family in the coming weeks and months, but my husband has given me just what I need to feel like we will manage it – together. I know that we will always find a way to make things work, because that is why we got married.
BMWK, Family, Why did you get married?