An active, healthy sex life is an important part of marriage. It’s a time for you both to connect with one another in a deeply personal way. As great as it may be however, the sheer truth is that sometimes you may not feel like you’re in the mood for it.
There are days when you are physically tired, days when you’re overwhelmed by stress, or times when you’re simply not interested in sex. While hopefully that isn’t the case all the time, it can happen on occasion. Mind you, this certainly isn’t true for every wife, either. Some women have personal mantras to never turn their husbands down and stay ready to go at it anytime.
But I will be honest and say that I can recall times when my husband wanted to make love and I would deny his advances. I would get in my head about how tired I was feeling, why I wasn’t interested, or why it wasn’t the right time. As my life and marriage have continued to evolve, however, it’s not lost on me that doing this on a regular basis could cause hurt feelings and drive a wedge between even the most loving of couples.
Now when those moments come, there are some thoughts that run through my head that can easily help me shift my perspective. Add these to your memory bank before you roll your eyes and/or flat out say no, the next time you feel like you’re not quite in the mood for some lovin’.
It’s for your enjoyment, too
Sex isn’t just about pleasing your husband; it’s about getting your physical needs meet, too. Ideally, you should both be willing to please each other in order to keep your sex life thriving. When the moment presents itself for you two to connect physically, remember that there’s a good time in it for you as well.
It’s a stress reliever
A friend told me years ago that men relieve stress via sex, and women can’t focus on sex until their stress is relieved first. I have found that to be true on some levels! Nonetheless, when I’ve had a long day and come home thinking that all I want to do is drink some tea and go to sleep but my husband has other plans, I think about how much better I’ll feel afterward. Having the tension pent up in my neck and shoulders released after some good lovin’ is a great incentive to get things going. It makes you feel better prepared to deal with the stresses of the outside world when you’ve made time to connect with each other.
You’ll sleep better
After-sex sleep is the best sleep, ever! You will both sleep soundly and peacefully. A good night’s rest can be just what the love doctor ordered when you feel tired after a long day. You’ll wake up feeling rested, refreshed, and ready to take on the day.
You’ll get into it once you get started
It may take some time getting warmed up, but once you really get into the swing of things, I don’t see how you can regret it! This is a bit similar to going to the gym to workout. Some days you may not feel up to it, but once you get past that and go anyway, that’s usually when you have the best workouts! You’ll leave feeling energized and happy that you made the choice to go. Next time, instead of tensing up at the idea of making love, relax and give in to the moment. Let the love you feel for your spouse overtake you and enjoy the passion you two share.
If you’ve gone through all of these reminders and you’re still not in the mood, be sure to communicate that with your spouse. If you’re not feeling well or just had a long day and need a little space, that’s okay. Just make sure to offer a rain check and when they redeem it, make it worth the wait!
BMWK: What do you do when you’re not in the mood?