“Why don’t these younger wives cook?” Was a question asked during a group conversation on relationships.
It came from a woman who had been married more than 30 years. As you would imagine, she received a wide range of responses to that question. Some stated they were too busy, and others just simply didn’t enjoy cooking. The conversation was great and is definitely what sparked this article.
When I compared my new-school married friends and family to the old-school ones, I did observe some differences. Here’s a little of what I found:
1. Busy in the Boardroom
More new-school wives are making careers and entrepreneurship a priority. I consider myself on the new-school side of things, and, yes, we are making things happen. Although my career and business will never come before my family, I am holding down a full-time job during the day and managing my own business in the evening. We want it all and know there are some sacrifices we must make to make it happen. Many of us aren’t content with the title of wife and mom only; whereas old-school wives may be more willing to set aside their ambitions to place more focus on the family.
2. Queens of the Kitchen
According to the old-school wife I mentioned above, she had come across quite a few new-school wives who weren’t feeling this cooking thing. My mother-in-law and paternal grandma love to cook. In fact, I can’t go to visit either of them without them whipping out some pots and pans. I don’t often see that in the homes some of the new school wives I visit. It could very well be because of our fast-paced lifestyles and just how much we have on our plates. But while we definitely make sure our family eats, we aren’t necessarily the ones preparing those meals in some cases, and we’re good with that.
3. No Time for Trouble
I’ve noticed that more new-school wives are willing to leave an unhappy marriage quicker. From my experience, big momma and ’em stayed in their marriages whether they were happy or not. It seems with most modern women, there isn’t any time nor tolerance for unhappiness. Life is too short.
What I found most interesting is that our old-school wives kept their struggles private while the modern-day wife is more likely to seek a counselor. But in the end, I’ve seen the new schoolers are still quicker to leave a marriage.
4. Looking the Other Way
Infidelity seemed to be a little more tolerated with the old-school wives I’ve encountered. I remember one of my girlfriend’s mom, sharing that cheating was okay, because in her words, “that’s what men do.” Quite a few new school wives don’t buy that, and for the most part, they aren’t tolerating this bad behavior.
5. Juggling Acts
Some new-school wives seem to have more on their plates, and they keep adding to it. Some are traveling for their jobs. Others are working, volunteering and going back to school. It’s a lot to juggle when you are also managing a family. From what I’ve observed, old-school wives may have worked outside of the home but their plates didn’t appear as full in some instances.
There are definitely some differences when I think about the old-school and new-school wives I know. While we may differ in the way we take care of our families, there is one thing I know for sure, the love we have for our children and husbands will never change.
BMWK, do you agree with these differences? What would you say are some differences between the old-school and new-school wife? And what kind of wife do you see yourself as?