For centuries, Black fathers have caught a bad rap – from epidemic absenteeism to a depiction as slackers. Well, one dad has had enough. Matt Prestbury is the founder of the hugely successful Facebook group “Black Fathers” that is shedding a light on the massive involvement of African American dads in their families, their communities, and their world. BMWK caught up with Matt to learn more about the group and his passion for this online community.
BMWK: Why did you create the Facebook group Black Fathers?
Matt: I had been casually and sporadically organizing events, and inviting fathers to come together for years before founding Black Fathers. I always wanted to bring men together with their children to create a fellowship among fathers.
As time went on, and I started using Facebook, I felt that what I was attempting to do on a small scale in the physical realm could also be done on a much larger scale in the virtual/social networking realm of Facebook.
Aside from wanting to bring fathers together on this scale and allow us to network with one another within a group, I also wanted to do one major thing: highlight actively involved fathers, who love their children, who aren’t afraid to show it, and who society largely ignores or lumps in with those whom we call “deadbeat dads.”
- I made it Black Fathers–versus all fathers–because I didn’t see anything else like that at the time that really catered to, and spoke up for, what I considered to be the most marginalized, the most overlooked, the most stereotyped and misjudged group out there who needed to be able to share their truths the most: Black men raising their children.
- I wanted to allow Black men to be able to share their stories, good or not-so good, about being a father. I wanted to create a space where we could be a resource to one another, to offer information to each other, advice, encouragement, etc.
- I started Black Fathers to shatter stereotypes in society and to give us a space of our own where we could say, “Black men who love and care for their children, and who are involved in their lives, do exist, no matter what anyone says to the contrary.”
BMWK: Who did you create it for?
Matt: I created this group for all Black men who have created a life, and even those who haven’t, but who are still considered fathers. This includes those whom we call “step-fathers,” and even uncles, grandfathers, and others who have taken on the role in place of a child’s biological father.
I created this for the fathers who are very actively involved, first and foremost. But I also created this for those are not so active as they could be, and who could use some encouragement to get more active.
I created it for fathers who have no connection with their children at all. I created this for all of us out here as Black men to come together and create that fellowship that I spoke about, in order to strengthen ourselves, our families, and our communities.
BMWK: When was it created?
Matt: Black Fathers was created in March 2009.
BMWK: Who were you hoping it would impact most?
Matt: I don’t know who I was hoping it would impact most; I really just wanted to create something for everyone to benefit from.
- I wanted fathers who are involved to want to be even more involved.
- I wanted fathers only marginally involved to want to be even more involved.
- I wanted fathers with no relationship to build one.
- And I wanted us all to support each other in this.
- I wanted those who ignore us or negate our roles to change their beliefs.
- I wanted the larger society, and the media, to take notice and to shift the beliefs held about us as so-called deadbeats or non-existent.
- I wanted this to impact everybody.
- I wanted people to feel proud of the role they play in children’s lives.
- I wanted those who are in the legal system to see the impact they have and can have on our families.
- I just wanted this to really impact everyone in some way.
BMWK: How has it affected the black community?
Matt: I honestly and truly believe that Black Fathers, among other groups and organizations, has shed such a light on fathers in general–and particularly in our communities–that it has changed how many of us think about fathers and fatherhood.
I would never personally, or on behalf of the group, take all the credit, but I know that my passion and perseverance, coupled with that of every member in this group has really changed the lens through which we look at fathers, and even at ourselves as fathers.
So many members share with me how just being a part of this group has impacted their lives. So many appreciate the camaraderie, the support, the advice, the examples, the love. So many have learned about others pushing through tough times, including custody battles.
More and more women are showing love to fathers, Black fathers in society, and that’s incredibly encouraging. More and more events are taking place catering to fathers. And more and more media outlets are taking notice.
BMWK: What’s next for you and the group?
Matt: The plan as for the group right now is to work toward turning this into a non-profit social enterprise. I want to be able to have brick-and-mortar facilities in various cities that serve as resource centers where fathers can meet up in the same ways that we do in the virtual realm.
In the meantime we will continue to hold events that bring fathers together and support each other. As for me personally, I’m going to continue pushing my first children’s book, I Want My Daddy To Do It, working on my second children’s book, Still A Ladybug, working on a few other business ventures, and trying to be the absolute best father and husband that I can be.
BMWK fathers, click here to join the Black Fathers group on Facebook today!