This couple really is the complete definition of what it means to be a Power Couple. Today they are running a very successful business together. Mario is an Emmy Award winning TV host, and known as the Digital Lifestyle Expert™ offering his digital expertise to TODAY Show, CNN, HLN and Fuse. He is also regularly seen on Inside Edition, Dr. Oz, Katie Couric and Steve Harvey. Together they created Mario Armstrong Media, LLC, which is run by Nicole as the CEO.
What people may not know are the struggles they had to face, and the rock bottom they had to hit long before they experienced the success they are living in today. This inspirational couple spends their time between Baltimore, MD and New York with their eleven-year-old son.
Nicole: So Mario started off by telling me that this was going to be quick because he’s wonderful, he wears the pants in the relationship and he does everything for the relationship. He was saying all that as I was throwing a shoe across the room to hit him on the head.
[all laugh]
BMWK: Is that all you were going to throw? [laughs] We always love to hear about your love story and how you met?
Somehow she ended up on this trip and I just remember she had this pretty little ankle bracelet on…in February. We’re in a hotel and she’s got on shoes with heels, showing her toes with this ankle bracelet. I’m like, who is this woman? Something hot walked into the space and I have no idea who this woman is, what she’s about, and why she’s showing off her toes in February. So that began a discussion which didn’t get very far.
[all laugh]
The discussion was short and sweet, a “nice to meet you too” type of thing and that was it. It wasn’t until we got back from the trip that I basically begged her for her phone number.
Nicole: Yeah I had no interest in him…[laughs]
Mario: Wait, you didn’t give me your number. You took my number and your girlfriends had to convince you to call me.
Nicole: Right. But you were wearing the pants from back then right? [laughs]. So the whole joke is that I am from the Virgin Islands and I had just gotten back from St. Thomas so I was still in open toe shoe mentality. Everyone was walking around in their boots and there I was clicking around in my little heels.
[all laugh]
BMWK: Did you go skiing at all?
Nicole: No, I watched [laughs]. It was actually my first time being on that type of trip. I didn’t even know what a ski trip was. So it was all a learning experience for me. But I was totally unattracted to him… completely, and utterly unattracted to him [laughs].
Mario: Okay, I think we got it the first time.
[All laugh]
Nicole: My girlfriends kept telling me how sweet he was but I just wasn’t interested. So I wouldn’t give him my phone number but I did give him my pager [laughs]. And he paged me and paged me and oh my gosh he wouldn’t stop paging me. He was stalking me [laughs].
Mario: Oh come on I wasn’t stalking you like that [laughs]
Nicole: So he kept asking me out and I kept telling him no because I needed to study. So our joke to this day, which is 17 years later, is his famous line: well, you’ve got to eat.
Mario: Yes you can study all day but at some point you have to eat, so let me just take you to get something to eat.
Nicole: So I finally accepted and let him take me out to eat but I was so cautious about going out with him. And then we go out and…
Mario: Are you seriously going to go that far into the story? She only asked one question [laughs].
Nicole: You want me to leave it alone? [laughs] This will just tie it all together. Okay so the joke is that he took me out and went through all that work, and did not have enough money to pay the bill.
Mario: ALL that courting!
[All laugh]
Nicole: He went to try and get the money, but I volunteered to foot the bill. I think at that moment, that’s when I fell in love with him because he was so embarrassed and horrified. But I told him not to worry about it and that we’d go out again. That whole week, he sent apology cards, stuck money in my purse, bought me flowers and the rest was history.
BMWK: So you got hooked after…
Nicole: I got hooked after he couldn’t pay the bill. Isn’t that the weirdest thing?
[All laugh]
Mario: That doesn’t make any sense at all.
Nicole: I got to see his real, sincere side.
BMWK: So you’ve been together 17 years, how long were you dating before you got married?
Nicole: Two years dating and we just celebrated our 15th anniversary.
BMWK: Wow, well congrats and happy anniversary!
As you know, all marriages go through are their own set of challenges. What was the biggest challenge you’ve ever had to overcome in your marriage?
Nicole: We really hit rock bottom when we launched our company and then the recession hit. That was very tough but we stayed so strong and supportive of each other during that time.
Mario: I had asked her to run the business because she had the startup and operational background as well as the development. I thought she would do a much better job of running the company as CEO than I could do. My skill set was getting us into situations that we could benefit from, in that I was very creative in delivering things for content creation. I was strong at brand building but not business building.
I was always kind of doing this stuff on the side while working full-time. I was hosting TV programs, doing radio shows, public speaking but I wasn’t making any money. It was more like a hobby. Eventually, I said that we needed to take the chance.
Nicole: So I quit my job and I started doing some consulting on the side to continue bringing in income while we built the business. It took about a year and a half to two years to build the business. Then in 2007, we both started the company full-time.
Mario: We had been working with a big company on this huge deal that was about a $248K. We’re working on this deal in early 2007 and we hired lawyers to help us sign this fifteen page contract. I then leave the Mayor’s office which was time anyway since they were downsizing.
Within a month, we got a phone call that there was new management and they were changing the direction of the company. So they were no longer moving forward. We had already signed the contract, and were planning to meet with them for a signing party. We were just waiting for the counter signature. Literally three months after that happened, the recession hit.
We only had a certain amount of savings, and we eventually had to tap into the 401K and drain that. Then we maxed out every credit card that we had. We could’ve decided to go back and work for someone but we had already invested two years into this. We knew that if we could make it through this, then we knew we’re going to be able to make it in business a long time together and be successful. We were doing everything to rob Peter to pay Paul as bills were coming in. We were out there trying to hunt for any kind of contract we could get. I was taking change to the Coinstar machine to get gas money. So for us, it was our ultimate low.
Nicole: My mom was buying us groceries.
Mario: Yes. It was a very challenging, frustrating and confusing time, not knowing what the outcome was going to be.
BMWK: So what were some of those initial steps to come out of that situation and push past all of it? This is something that would tear most couples apart.
Mario: Yeah you’re right.
Nicole: We went through this for almost two and a half years. So if I had to name it, we were very conscious of every morning that we woke up, to be positive. As simple as that sounds, it’s not simple to…
Mario: to execute that.
Nicole: Right. To wake up and not know how you’re going to pay your bills. It was to the point we were paying bills daily beause the cash flow just wasn’t there. So it was constantly motivating each other and being each other’s backbone. On the days he was really down, I was up. And on the days I was really down, he was up. To this day, we still carry this motto: both of us can never be down at the same time.
So if we wake up and things aren’t going in the right direction, and we’re both moody, we’ll look at each other and figure out whose turn it is to have their little temper tantrum, and flip a coin if we have to [laughs]. It does not work when you’re both down.
We constantly had goals that encouraged us to continue the fight and that kept us motivated. We did a lot of praying, and our faith quadrupled at that point.
Mario: Also part of what happens when these challenges hit couples, is that different people react to money differently. Nicole’s style and approach to money to some extent is a position of worry. She worries a little bit about making sure we can pay next month’s bills and how we’re going to pay them. I try not to get caught in the actual moment. The lesson learned is that you have to understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses, then allow each to focus on their strengths. If you need to, find family members or friends that can support your weaknesses because that is what will ultimately break people.
It was because we constantly talked about what the big vision was and the ultimate plan was, and how we were going to try to get there. We constantly imprinted it in our head so we knew what we were sacrificing for. We knew how far we were willing to let this thing try to beat us down because of what we were pursuing. When you don’t have a coherent vision of what you’re trying to pursue and when money gets tough,that’s where you end up do anything you can to try to survive, but that can take you way off focus.
Nicole: At the end of the day, going through that challenge we went through taught us a bigger lesson. It doesn’t matter how much you plan because we did a lot of planning ahead of time, but there was no preparation for an unexpected recession. We realized we could hit rock bottom and still make it. And we also realized we weren’t making decisions based off of money because we still survived. We don’t have to do things that don’t feel right. We really learned how to protect, care for and nurture each other through that time.
BMWK: What advice would you give to couples who want to start and grow a business together?
Mario: One of the things I think they should really do is to stop faking themselves that they can make this thing work: that they have this beautiful relationship so therefore, they’re going to have this beautiful business. That is such a blurred vision and approach to starting a business with someone. You really have to lay out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Be honest and lay it all out.
Nicole: To his point, as a couple you have to realize how you handle things personally when you’re upset or can’t agree on a subject? If you’re not problem solvers personally as a couple, that’s going to be a problem for you professionally. Do you walk around with an attitude for 2-3 days after an argument? You just can’t run a business like that so don’t put yourself in that position.
Mario: Don’t do it or you’ll ruin your marriage and your business. How do you deal with your attitude towards your partner in conflict situations? If you can’t separate it, that stuff spills over into the business. Just let the one spouse go do it and the other one be supportive.
Nicole: The advantage we had is we were married seven years before we did this venture. Since we both had strong careers, we had figured out how to separate personal from professional. So when we launched our business, it was pretty simple for us. If we have an argument in the morning about personal matters, we shut off from that when it’s time to deal with the business. The two don’t even mix with each other.
Mario: It’s not easy to do. There are times when I feel like I don’t want to get on a conference call with her right now [laughs]. We don’t like to argue, we like to get things resolved. But you have to compartmentalize it.
The other thing is that Nicole is very strong about separation from the bedroom and the boardroom.There was a time I’d have the laptop in the bed and I was just going, going, going. But it’s not healthy for the marriage to go like that. I tell people all the time: from 9-5 you work to make a living, but from 5pm-9am you work to make history. So I understand at night time, that’s your time to go in. But that doesn’t mean you have to do it in the bedroom [laughs].
That separation is especially important. As a couple, you have to establish boundaries. Now I have a pen and pad by the bedside so when I think of ideas, I just write it down. Now she’ll ask me the next morning, so what was that idea you had last night? [laughs]
BMWK: How do you keep your marriage exciting and stay connected?
Nicole: We try to make sure we have date night, maybe once every other week where we’re completely shut down. It could be us in the basement with some blankets and some great wine, watching a movie. We absolutely make sure we try to do things together. It’s hard but we’re trying to make sure that quarterly, we’re taking little weekend trips somewhere, even if it’s just one night. That’s important in any relationship.
Mario: Yeah that’s part of it. Being able to spend quality time together is key. I’m the one that pushes hard on it. For me, a lot of it is mental. So I need to actually break away from the environment that I’m in most of the time so that I can disconnect myself.
You have to want the relationship to flourish. People are raising kids, running business, chasing kids after school. You can’t get lost in so much of the day to day, that you are always pushing things to the side so that you start to lose that connection. We’ve had to had these conversations ourselves. We’ve had times when we’ve told each other we felt really distant from each other.
Nicole: We also make sure we have disconnected meal time together with no phone or technology. So we sit down and make a habit of eating dinner together all of the time. As long as everyone is home, we are eating dinner and breakfast together. We’ll get up extra early if we have to, and eat breakfast before we take our son to school. It’s those little things that are so important.
It’s equally important to have relationships outside of your marriage. I’m a big supporter of women having their girl time. It makes me a better woman, wife and mother to be able to have that time. I need my girl time. It’s not even up for discussion because it’s a necessity for me to function and get that break.
Mario: Another thing is to outsource as quick as you can afford to do it and that means personal as well as business. If you’re not getting quality family time and you can afford it, pay to get your house cleaned so you feel like your space is comfortable and decluttered. If you can get someone to do your laundry, pay them. Write down the most redundant things you do on a weekly basis, and then identify what (of those things) you can get someone else to do for you. What you need back is time.
BMWK: Speaking of quality time, when you had your son, how did you marriage change?
Nicole: We had to get used to it no longer being the two of us. We consciously chose to enjoy our marriage first and didn’t have him until four years later. So it was a big adjustment once it was no longer the two of us. It was just reality slapping us in our head because now we were responsible for this life.
Mario: Yeah that was the hardest thing.
BMWK: Are you working on any upcoming projects that you can share with us?
Nicole: Well we started off on local radio and TV and now it’s grown nationally. Now we’re making the turn to hosting, whether it’s on a network, or our own TV show.
Mario: We’ve been pushing our own show. It’s not just the hosting, but also producing. Or we can find opportunities that need a host for those shows. That’s the next step: to get that national television hosting opportunity. We would then turn that into another springboard to being able to launch products for adults as well as kids. We want to build up our reputation enough to where we can produce content for other people and help them be successful.
Nicole: Like how Oprah launched Rachael Ray, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz. We want to get to that point.
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BMWK: Is there a timeframe for when you’re looking to start hosting?
Mario: We’re hoping to go through enough opportunities for pitching and auditioning by late 2014 early 2015 at which point we intend to have a TV show, or hosting a TV show on a network. Of course, we want to continue to expand what we do with the networks that we’re on, particularly the Today show as that’s a huge opportunity to be a paid contributor as part of their family.
BMWK: Well that is so exciting!! Congratulations!
Any last words of advice of encouragement for married couples?
Nicole: Communicate constantly and make sure you’re carving out personal time, date lunches, nights or weekends. Always be respectful of each other.
Mario: Yes I agree.
BMWK: I don’t know about you, but I truly enjoyed this interview with Mario and Nicole, and we thank them for being so transparent in sharing their story. You can connect with them on their website, and follow them on Twitter: @marioarmstrong and @nicolemhunter.
Can you relate to any of the struggles they went through? Be sure to show them some love in the comments section!