It was an absolute pleasure to sit down and chat with Ann Nesby and Timothy Lee about marriage, parenting, working together, music and health. Ann Nesby is a grammy-award winner and former lead singer of the hit group Sounds of Blackness, and Tim works closely with her in the business as her manager. Ann and Tim just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and have a blended family of ten children. They just welcomed grandchild number eighteen into the family (give or take because neither of them were 100% certain what number they’re on LOL). Their children range in age from 28 to 40 years old.
Ann Nesby’s new album debuted over the summer and I can honestly say: if you don’t have it, go out and get it! It’s an incredible album from start to finish with a great message about relationships, self-love and of course, faith.
BMWK: In the entertainment industry, we see so many couples who don’t last long. What would you guys say are your top 2-3 tips that you can share with couples on what it takes to make a (happy) marriage last?
Ann: We celebrated our 20 year anniversary on August 6th, but we’ve been together and working together for 28 years. First and foremost is our faith in God; trusting and acknowledging Him every day.
Tim: You have to have a level of respect for each other and try your best to separate business from personal. That’s the juggling act, trying to separate it.
Ann: You have to be able to respect each others’ expertise and trust what they do and what they bring to the table. You have to learn not to overstep your boundaries for what they do.
Tim: You have to trust each other as well. She trusts me to handle the business, and of course I include her on every decision that we make. Something I told Ann years ago when we first started is that I would get in front of a Mack truck for her.
BMWK: So you got her back.
Tim: I got her back and she has my back.
BMWK: What tips you can share for other parents who are trying to make it work in life and business?
Ann: We taught our children to be true to themselves and to be honest with themselves first. We made sure they knew they were loved and we kept a very open relationship with our children so that they would feel comfortable enough to talk to us about everything. Generally, it was at the dinner table that we got the most information. I know in today’s society a lot of time we miss that time with family at the dinner table because of the fast pace. We were really blessed to be able to keep as much of that time as we could especially with our busy careers. I think that was a very important key in our family as a whole.
Tim: And we were always honest with our kids. If we made a mistake as a parent, we were always honest enough to tell them.
Ann: We were always open enough to apologize and I think they appreciated that. I tried to go beyond “Because I said so”. I tried to reason with them. By the time you get finished reasoning with them, they wished they had never asked you why. [Laughs]
BMWK: Exactly! Being that we’re in the holiday season, does your family have any special holiday traditions?
Ann: Well, we definitely still celebrate a traditional holiday with food and family and of course good music and prayer. Our children are all across the country. But we have all been together with the grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
BMWK: Wait, you have great-grandchildren?!
Ann: We absolutely do. We have a great-granddaughter. We’ve had maybe as many as forty-four family members in the house for the holiday, and twenty-two sleeping over. It was just a ball of fun. Everybody coming in and sleeping anywhere they can find a nook or cranny.
BMWK: That’s awesome. Okay, so of course, we have to talk about the music. Tell us about your new album. What can people expect from it?
Ann: The project is entitled Living My Life. We are really excited to do this project because it is Arrow Soul Records. This particular project is an R&B project. We labeled it Life Music because it deals with the whole person, our relationships outside the four walls of the church, and it deals with our love relationships, on-the-job relationships, and friendships.
We had a really great group working on the project, young producers who have worked with the likes of Beyonce Knowles, Mary J Blige, just to name two of the greats that they have worked with. I had an opportunity to work with these young people who had heard about Ann Nesby from Sounds of Blackness. They knew my style of music and they knew the message that I always tried to stick with: bringing life music and feel good music. And I think it came across with that first title track Living My Life. The song talks about how we must accept the things we can’t change and be strong enough to know that if we trust God to take over things in our life, that you can live your life as though you know that God is in control.
BMWK: That’s powerful. I knew this was going to be good but I didn’t know we were going to church. [Laughs]
Ann: It’s definitely message music, feel good music; music to inspire and encourage, and to uplift. That’s what my message has been along my course for twenty-five years coming from a group like Sounds of Blackness. You know I try to stay the course and sing good music that represents our cultural unapologetically.
I had an opportunity to talk to Lou Rawls who is one of our great, great legends. And I asked him one question: “What was the thing that caused the longevity in your career?” And he gave me a simple answer: “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Stay true to your fan base, keep reinventing yourself, but make it fresh and keep it true.”
BMWK: I love it, such great advice. If either of you could pick one song off the album that is your favorite song which one would it be?
Tim: It’s a tough question because all of the songs are like your kids. You have different relationships with each one of them, but you love all of them the same. So if I had to choose a song that would be my favorite I think it would probably be “Remember.” It would be Remember because I love the groove of that song and I just love the way Ann delivered the record. I love that record.
Ann: Well thank you honey.
Tim: But that’s very hard because I got other songs in my mind that I like but I love that one.
Ann: I think my favorite would definitely have to be the title track “Living my lIfe.” Because it took five years to come back and do a project people kept asking, “What have you been doing and what took so long to do a project?” But we literally named this project Living My Life because that’s what we’ve been doing. My daughter is in the industry. She is now in Sounds of Blackness as the lead singer. Then my grand-daughter started her own career. So I’ve been working with them and helping them get established in the industry. I wasn’t out, I was just living my life.
BMWK: Speaking of living your life, can you share some tips on the things do you do to take care of yourself, and the impact it has on your family?
Ann: I definitely try to look after my health, especially after having a health scare in 2005, when I had congestive heart failure. I am now a spokesperson for the American Heart Association. I work with them on the Check, Change, and Control program, where you keep check on your vitals and your blood pressure. We definitely try to get the word out that heart attacks and strokes are one of the strongest killers of American women. Not only men. It used to be that it was all geared towards telling men to get checked, but we need to do the same thing. And it starts with a lifestyle change.
I mean I’m telling you I could hardly make it through the airport without sitting down because my weight had ballooned all the way up to over 300lbs. As my doctor and I began to look at things, she said, “Ann let me tell you this because I love you: I think its very important that you go ahead and do the gastric bypass because I want you here. I love your music but I love you first. And your family loves you first and foremost. If you want to be here for them, you better consider this and try to change your habits.” So that was one of the main reasons I decided to become a spokesperson for the American Heart Association.
BMWK: What is your favorite part about working together?
Tim: I would say, my favorite thing is that I get to hear my favorite singer sing for every show. It’s like going to see your favorite artist that you love all the time. Every day.
Ann: They don’t believe you.[Laughs]
Tim: Who doesn’t believe me? I just told you that the other day.
Ann: The funny thing is, he tells me that all the time. And I tell him to get out of here and ask him what does he want? [Laughs]
For me, I think one of the greatest things is we travel together. I love being able to have my honey with me all the time. And one of the great, great things is we get to keep all that money in house. [Laughs]
BMWK: So I have a follow-up question: When you’re having a misunderstanding or disagreement do you sing your answers to him?
Ann: Absolutely not. We have our disagreements and when it is on, it is on. But the most important thing is not to let things fester but to deal with it when it shows up. Don’t expect your mate to read your mind. That is really important for us. When we disagree, we talk about it. We deal with it.
This power couple sure knows how to have fun, and their love and friendship was felt throughout the interview. Thank you Ann and Tim for sharing your lives with us at BMWK.
If you’re in the DC, Maryland or Virgina area, Ann Nesby will be performing in the stage play Bound and Gagged on December 20th. Click here to find out more. And stay connected on her website, or via Facebook and Twitter to keep up with news and upcoming events.
BMWK: Please take a minute to share some love for Ann and Tim! What is your favorite song from Ann Nesby?