In this day, having a vision and creating a vision board is a very normal practice. Writing out a vision or talking with others about your vision to help hold you accountable is encouraged. A vision for the family, a vision for your finances, and a vision for the future; couples plan for these things. Well, how about planning and having a vision for your sexual life with your mate?
It may sound odd at first. Yet, anything in life you want to succeed, you plan for it. Truth be told – Your husband may already have an unspoken vision; as well your wife probably has an unspoken vision of how she wants things to be sexually.
Pleasing your mate and you being satisfied in this area, are part of a healthy loving marriage relationship. When things are left to happenstance we may or may not be pleased with the outcome and unspoken expectations go unmet. This is a very important part of a marriage relationship. Why not plan for it?
Here are several questions to help you plan. These questions are to get your thoughts moving. This is a very personal subject and the intimate details should be discussed privately between you and your mate.
Questions to help couples express their sexual vision for their marriage:
- What does my mate like sexually?
- Am I willing to oblige my mate’s desires?
- How can we meet in the middle?
- How many times a week would he like to engage in sexual activity?
- How many times a week would she like to engage in sexual activity?
- What does sexual activity mean to my mate?
- When does sexual activity begin for him?
- When does it begin for her?
- With kids and a busy life, will planned moments be scheduled weekly, so that we don’t stay away from each other for too long?
- How long is too long to stay away from each other sexually?
- In addition to being spontaneous, will we have his night and her night? (On his night, his desires are the main focus. On her night, her desires are the main focus.)
A shared vision for sexual intimacy is a good thing. It removes guess work and sets you up with a plan to success even in this private sensual area of your marriage relationship.
In the end, make sure both husband and wife are in agreement with the vision. Be certain that you both are excited about the vision. Yes, it is okay to have a sexual vision for your marriage. No, it is not necessary to have a vision board. This one you can keep in your heart and revisit it often.
Life is not like the shows on TV. Most married couples do not come through the doors of their homes throwing off clothes and looking for the nearest piano top to lie on. Couples are thinking about what’s for dinner, are the bills paid, who picks up the kids this week, did you get the juice for Johnny’s class party tomorrow, and why did I volunteer to help on another project.
Don’t leave this area of marriage to chance. Often when there is no vision, things are left to perish through neglect and malnutrition. Have fun with your spouse. You be that fountain of fresh water for her and she will be a living well that runs deep for you.
BMWK, is this something you can talk through with your spouse?