If you are like me, a hopeless romantic, then you have probably already thought of some sort of fairy tale-like story of how you would want to meet your future spouse.
I always thought I would be at the grocery store and turn on aisle three to get some pasta sauce and she would also be in the same aisle looking for noodles. Our buggies would collide causing her to almost fall down, but I would catch her, causing our eyes to meet. And…we would live happily ever after.
Well, I am happy to say that I’ve been happily married for four years now. I found my beautiful bride, but my wife was not waiting on aisle three as I had envisioned. Rather, we met in the most unexpected place, especially for us.
Yes, we met on Facebook. And, yes, it really does happen.
I want to share with you seven lessons I learned from meeting my wife on Facebook.
1. You May Not Meet Your Spouse How You Plan
This is the most important lesson out of the seven, simply because if I hadn’t been open to the reality that we might not meet in a way that I planned, then I might still be single right now. Facebook was the LAST PLACE I ever thought I would meet my wife, and BOOM that’s exactly how we met.
2. Your Profile and Behavior Online Means a lot More than You Expect
My wife and I were both in a prayer group on Facebook (Note: you, too, could find your spouse in common interests groups). And one day, I saw her post a few prayers that really caught my attention. I then clicked on her page, and, yes, went through her pictures.
I was shocked that we were already Facebook friends. She was very beautiful, which caused me to do some more digging, leading me to her blog. If she would’ve had crazy pictures up or wild stuff happening on her page, then I probably would’ve ended my curiosity there. So, be conscious of how you have your page setup because you never know who might be curious about you.
3. There’s Nothing Wrong with Taking Your Time to Get to Know Someone
After learning that she was single, I sent her a very friendly message through Facebook. I know you may be like…Wow, you stalked her, and then messaged her?
Yes, lol. It may be have sounded creepy then, but it makes a good romantic story now because we’re married. We messaged back a few times, nothing serious at all, and that went on for eight months.
4. Every Relationship Is a Risk No Matter What
After eight months of being online friends, I wanted to pursue things further. After prayer and talking with my pastor, I felt at peace and encouraged to take the next step. I sent her another message, asking if she would be interested in us getting to know one another better.
Even after all I did, this was still a risk. Why? Because the moment you involve another human into your World, nothing is guaranteed. This is why wisdom must be your guide, helping you make the right decisions to guard your heart through the process.
5. Have a Relationship Support System in Place Before You Date
The one thing that made my wife Natasha comfortable to actually be interested in getting to know me better was the strong community of people I had in my life. She saw I was heavily connected in my church and with the many friends, who posted and commented on my wall (In the age of catfish romances, I suppose this is one way to tell that you’re actually interacting with a real person but also a good person).
But, clearly, anyone can have this and still be a bit crazy. But, once Natasha and I were ready to get serious, I asked her if she wanted to speak with some of my friends from my church in order to feel more comfortable. Whether you’re meeting someone online or in person, being able to meet the people they spend the majority of their time with really helps you to see what type of person they really are.
So that’s our story. Facebook was not the storybook encounter I had envisioned. But it was the perfect chapter in our book of love.
BMWK, are you open to online dating? What are your concerns about meaning a potential spouse online?