by Harriet Hairston
OK, somebody call a doctor, QUICK! I have a problem that must be addressed. In five years, it has progressively gotten worse and worse, and I fear that it won’t be long before my brain totally succumbs to its vicious attack. I think I have SSA…Single State Amnesia!
Case in point: I read an article about how gonorrhea may become incurable because most strains being treated now are resistant to even the strongest antibiotic assigned to treat them! So I decided to “equip” my single friends by sharing the article on Facebook. Here is what the status said: “For my single brothers and sisters, all the more reason to *clank, clank* on the sexual activity. Wow!”
Umm…yeah. So my single friends QUICKLY put me in my place! They were telling me the same thing takes place even more despicably in marriages all over the nation and world, and how DARE I single out single people when discussing STDs, and you can guess what else showed up there. I guess they told me, right? I had to check myself and put out an apology! I mean, sure…I could have easily deleted the status, but that’s exactly what someone with SSA would do. The disorder tends to make a person thing they know it all!
Anyway, it was this exchange that let me know that I suffered from the onset of SSA!
Here are its symptoms:
- After getting married, a loss of short term memory (for some it is gradual, for others, the onset is quick and final) of the struggles they encountered while single.
- Anal leakage through the mouth, with statements like, “I’m so glad I’m married so I don’t have to deal with this kind of drama,” or “Girl, get you a husband, and you won’t have to worry about that!”
- Chronic giving of unsolicited advice to single friends, thus living vicariously through them.
- Assumption that things that take place in the single community are things that don’t take place in the married community (i.e. cheating, bad decisions, financial struggle, etc.).
- Acute know-it-all-ism.
Symptoms tend to show up sporadically, but eventually, if not checked and medicated with humility and a dose of “Act Right,” it can become full fledged and uncontrollable! For example, married people don’t have the market cornered on wisdom, perspective, love and parenthood! There are plenty of single folks that are wise, respectable, stately, talented…shucks…I used to be one of them!
I believe all married folks could use a self-check and remember what it was like to be single. If you cannot remember, just use some common sense and treat your single counterparts with the respect they deserve!Although not life threatening, SSA can turn an otherwise reasonable person into something totally unattractive and terrible. SSA gone unchecked can turn a person into its acronym…spelled backwards.
BMWK, whether you’re single or married, what ways can you continue to check yourself and remember what it’s like to be single? For the married folks, what kinds of faux pas have you made that are evident of the onset of SSA? For the single folks, what other nerve-wrecking things have your married counterparts said or done that made you just shake your head?
God bless!
~ Harriet
Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. There is one more permanent label she holds: “author.” You can purchase her first book, “Who Are You?” simply by clicking on the link. You can also contact her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.