By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Usually, we (married folks) are full of tips and ideas we readily share with our single friends and family on how to find and keep love. Some of us typically feel there isn’t much a single person could offer in terms of how to maintain a marriage. But just because they have yet to say “I Do” doesn’t mean they don’t know what it takes. Last week I had a great conversation with a panel of singles and asked them what advice they would give to the married. The answers varied but all made an impact on me and I think they will for you too.
The single panel suggested these great tips on keeping marriage alive and well:
- Play, Play, Play. Married couples must continue to enjoy one another and not get too comfortable. One of the single ladies on the panel was very adamant about making sure married couples knew the value of keeping excitement in the home.
- If the good outweighs the bad, don’t trip. Married couples are blessed just by having someone to share their life with, so don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. Another of the female panelist sees this too often and stressed the fact that marriages are a blessing.
- Remember the initial attraction. Continue to date, send flowers, and call your spouse because the little things mean a lot. This tip came from one of the male panelist, who mentioned this was something he had learned from a failed relationship.
- Listen to what your spouse is asking for and be willing to match their effort. This key piece of knowledge was given from the youngest of the female panelist, which made it that much more thought provoking.
- Remember why you got married. Even when you don’t feel like it do it anyway. This tip was from the youngest male panelist. Although it was simple and to the point, it was quite powerful.
- Be spontaneous and creative. Everyday doesn’t have to be the same. Keep in mind maintaining creativity doesn’t have to be expensive. Another of the male panelist gave this tip along with a great laugh. He mentioned the creativity as a wife bringing home a stripper pole on Thursday and having a brand new present on Friday because of the husband’s appreciation.
The panel was entertaining as well as informative. There were tips that I will be applying to my own marriage. It was good to hear from this great group of singles who really seem to have a great outlook on marriage. In addition to giving this advice, the group unanimously confirmed these were things they would be carrying into their own marriages. Having a plan before entering into a marriage is the first step, but maintaining that plan is the most important. Overall, singles want the married to “... BE GOOD TO YOUR SPOUSE.
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Founder of Life Editing. Tiya was featured in Ebony Magazine in the October 2008 and November 2010 issues. Tiya recently created and launched (Tuesdays with Tiya) Life Editing Radio show on blogtalkradio.com. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children.