A few weeks back, we wrote a post about how difficult it is for people to say “I’m sorry” when they wronged their spouse or a person they are in a relationship with. But granting forgiveness can be just as difficult. How can you grant someone forgiveness when you are still soooo angry and hurt, when you want revenge, when you don’t want to be perceived as weak, and when you are … [Read more...]
The Single Life: 5 Steps to Take Before You Forgive
Recently, a reader reached out to me and asked for advice on how to forgive an ex. I'm not sure if I gave her the answer she wanted, but perhaps my words provided the answer she needed. She thought she forgave the person, but after reading on of my articles on disappointment and distrust, something surfaced. Anger and bitterness lied beneath a fake forgiveness. I shared with … [Read more...]
Can True Forgiveness Occur After Infidelity?
Ask a man or woman if they would stay if their spouse ever cheated and most often their immediate response would be “no.” For many couples infidelity is a deal breaker. A breach in trust is easily seen as grounds to end things and move on. However, for some couples the decision to stay and work to repair trust is made. But what role does forgiveness play in all of this? Many … [Read more...]
Forgiving Doesn’t Mean You Need to Be a Doormat
by Amy Morin Most experts and articles always recommended forgiveness. They advise not to hold onto a grudge but instead, to forgive and forget. They say, “Don’t hold a grudge, it’s not good for you.” However, believe it or not, there’s actually some research out there that suggests holding a grudge isn't so bad after all. Arguments that You Should Let Go of … [Read more...]
Don’t Let Go Without Holding On
Everyone wants to let go of their past. Especially when the past haunts you with things and ideals that nearly destroyed your life. We all have something in our life that we wished would have never happened. We all have situations that were beyond our control. Many of those things, could have been different if we had a choice in the matter. But sometimes, life just happens, and … [Read more...]
The Ingredients Of A Great Spouse
No one is perfect, right? So the idea of a great spouse may seem a bit unrealistic. However, it is a realistic goal to strive for. Just the effort alone will make a great impact on the relationship. If you are unsure where to begin, first take an honest assessment of who you are. Being truthful about your intentions and the different options you have in terms of … [Read more...]
How Often Should You Forgive Your Spouse?
The phrase "I will forgive, but I will not forget" has always baffled me. I wonder what's the point of forgiving if we are still holding on to whatever that thing is. And not only do most people still hold on to it, they bring it up using it as ammunition on the person they claim to have forgiven. Quite naturally, the healing process is immediately halted whenever this … [Read more...]
“Like It Never Happened”: Restoring Faith In The Unfaithful
by Tammy Brown "I'd leave." That used to be my response to the question of what would I do if my husband cheated on me. The question was hypothetical at the time because I wasn't married then. Sometime later I married the most incredible man on the planet; the father of my children and my best friend in the whole world. He is "a man after God's own heart." And he … [Read more...]
Affairs Don’t “Just Happen”
It just happened. We didn't mean to fall in love with each other. One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were in bed together. I tried to stop the phone calls and text messages, but I couldn't. It really was innocent. We started off as friends. It's not like I intended to cheat on you. It just happened. I know every marriage is different, and you might have a … [Read more...]
Occupy Your Marriage
Are you active in your marriage, or is it just a relationship status? Are you engaged with your spouse, or did that all go out the window with "I do"? Are you listening to your wife or do you just hear her? Are you talking to your husband or talking at him? Wake up, ladies and gentlemen. It's time to occupy your marriage. Regardless of what you may think of the Occupy protests … [Read more...]
How Would You Respond to Infidelity?
The very first post I wrote for BMWK was on a topic, men and infidelity, that seems to always come up when people discuss relationships, and in recent weeks a number of high profile men have made headlines for their cheating ways. First, Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that he had an affair with a member of his household staff that produced a son who is the same age as one of … [Read more...]
Increase Intimacy By Practicing Forgiveness
I was involved in a conversation with a buddy of mine the other day that took me back to a real serious situation early on in my relationship with my wife. My friend and I are in one of those slightly awkward spots, where two mutual friends that have been dating, have just broken up. So my friend was explaining why he saw one person's actions as justifiable. I just listened. … [Read more...]
Don’t Get Stuck In The Past
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter If you are just a little bit old school you may remember singing along or slow dancing to the lyrics of this popular One Way song "Something in the Past". If you know the words, sing it with me, "We we're together Living as one Until something happened One day our love was gone Always seems to be Something in the past Won't let us … [Read more...]
Do You Forgive Without an Apology?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson The other night I shared with my husband what I thought to be good news about a small freelance writing opportunity that I was given. The gig was nothing major, but given the fact that I have recently taken a pay cut at work and the fact that I am working toward eventually being able to do this for a living, I was still fairly excited. As opposed to … [Read more...]