by Harriet Hairston
On Tuesday, Dr. Shane Perrault wrote an article about the Civil War between black men and women in America. The issues we face as a people were made painfully obvious, but what about the solutions? Nwenna Kai commented, “I’m ready to discuss an action plan…we have too many discussions on the problems and not enough on…action.”
That comment became the onus for this article today. During the Civil War, the United States almost imploded with a fight over opposing doctrines: slavery vs. freedom. What of this so-called Civil War between black men and women that is so often discussed today? It goes way beyond men vs. women. It is also a battle between independence vs. interdependence in the black community!
More aptly put, the philosophy of “I’ma Do Me” vs. “We Are Family.” We could go on and on about the problem, but I believe the war is over. It is now time for some action.
During the Reconstruction Era after the Civil War, there was a desperation in the country for unity. People wanted to put the war behind them. To aid in that desire, Congress added the “Reconstruction Amendments” to the Constitution of the United States:
- The 13th Amendment abolished slavery and prohibited involuntary servitude.
- The 14th Amendment allowed people of color to have due process and constitutional rights to liberty, property, marriage, children and life.
- The 15th Amendment allowed everyone the right to vote regardless of their prior condition as slaves.
In many respects, these same three amendments could be enacted within the African-American family and community to bring us back to some sort of equilibrium. The vertigo of frustration, hatred and blame has dizzied our community long enough. Perhaps we should adopt some reconstruction amendments of our own:
- First Reconstruction Amendment: Total abolishment of unforgiveness and blame among black men and women. Instead of pointing fingers at one another, it would be better to sit down and gain an understanding of our differences as men and women. I’m sure we’ll find that we are more alike than we have allowed ourselves to believe.
- Second Reconstruction Amendment: The right to seek and build up the purpose and destiny of ourselves and our children, which will create a generational shift away from negativity and towards the rebuilding of our communities. I strongly believe that when you teach a person about their purpose and identity, all that negativity can be completely obliterated.
- Third Reconstruction Amendment: The right to have a voice and a vote in the conditions of black America. This right comes with inherent responsibilities towards community service, activism and setting proper examples for our children. This right also contains the responsibility to reflect marriages and families that are unified, full of love and consistent in communication.
I could truly go on and on, but I’d like to know what you think about these three amendments, BMWK. What other actions can you think of that will help aid us in making a lasting change within ourselves and our future generations? Let your voice be heard!
God bless!
~ Harriet
Harriet Hairston, a freelance writer, human resources administrator at an HBCU and creator of the motivational blog, “Can She SAY That?!?” has a unique style that brings readers into her life through her transparent demeanor. She lives in Louisiana with her husband and two sons. You can reach her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.