Thoughts have power and control our actions, especially in our relationships. I’m sure we’ve all had negative thoughts about our spouses that later resulted in poor behavior. It happens.

However, we must remember that we are in control of how we show up in our marriage. And yes, it begins with our thinking. Here are 5 ways of thinking that will hurt your marriage if you don’t stop them now.

“I guess I’ll give him some sex tonight”

You’ll just “give” him is the wrong idea about intimacy. Sex is not only for the husband’s enjoyment but his wife’s as well.  His wife should also be looking forward to sharing these moments with her spouse.

She shouldn’t view sex as a chore or as though she’s doing her husband a favor but rather embrace its many benefits.

Some benefits of sex include being a natural stress-reliever, providing a better connection with your partner, improving the skin and giving increased energy. Plus, it feels damn good.

“If I just pretend to listen, maybe she’ll stop nagging” 

Or maybe she won’t. Believe me, wives can tell when their husbands aren’t present. It’s important to be honest during communication. If something doesn’t make sense, say so.

If you don’t agree with what’s being said, say so. Remember, this is your relationship too and you have to also be invested in it.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him”

• Are you one of those secret shoppers who buys new things and hides them from your spouse?
• Do you have needs that aren’t being met?
• Is there something troubling you about your marriage that you refuse to share with your spouse?
• Do you find yourself attracted to someone else?

These are all things we should be discussing with our mates. Remaining quiet about things that negatively affect the relationship reflects a lack of trust. If we truly trusted our partners we wouldn’t be afraid to share any of our desires or concerns.

“He should already know what I need without me saying a word” 

How is this one even possible? Unless you married a mind reader, your partner won’t be 100% clear on your needs until you share them. So, just eliminate the confusion and share them.

“I’m not even going to ask, I already know what she’s going to say” 

Assumptions will ruin your relationship.

Every situation is different. It’s important that we continue to give our partner the benefit of the doubt. We don’t always know what the outcome will be. We should still question, and continue to approach our partners, even when we think we might know the answer.

These 5 negative thoughts will harm your relationship if you don’t check them. They will cause you to shut down, miscommunicate and mistreat your spouse all together. In order to make your marriage better, you must be willing to eliminate this type of stinking thinking – immediately!

BMWK, what negative thoughts would you add to this list?