By: Cami Johnson
What does it take to make marriage work? It would be nice to say all you need is love, but that would be a lie. Marriage is like a good soup, there are many ingredients that go into the pot in order to make it delicious. So, here are 4 of the top ingredients to maintain a healthy marriage.
Maintain a Sense of Humor
One of those ingredients is humor. It’s important to laugh together and sometimes make light of situations you are going through. I know with my husband if we are arguing about something, I will interject humor to break the tension.
Practice Forgiveness
Secondly, you need forgiveness, in particular, forgiving quickly. In a marriage there is always an opportunity to be offended. The key to getting over an affront is to forgive quickly. Do not hold a grudge for weeks at a time.
Once you decide to forgive, avoid bringing the issue up over and over again. Rehashing past hurts is like adding fuel to a fire. I believe that the forgiveness you shell out will be returned when you need it the most.
Communicate Effectively
The third ingredient is communication. If an issue arises that is a cause for concern, by all means discuss it. Remember that there is a time and a place for everything. For instance, there is no need to bring up a sensitive issue when you are having dinner with friends or family.
When you are alone in private, mention that you would like to talk or discuss whatever is bothering you. Be open to what the other person has to say. Do your best to see things from their perspective.
To me, talking about your problems is like having a wrinkled shirt; it takes an iron, or communicating to get the wrinkles out. Once you discuss an issue it may not be resolved that day. Your spouse may still do the same thing that irritated you before, but at least now they are aware of the problem and can work on it. Change is a process. Be patient while your spouse is working on their issue.
Stay Committed
The fourth ingredient needed in a marriage is commitment. Being married should be a lifetime commitment. I realize there are situations, such as domestic violence, or verbal abuse or cheating, which warrant getting divorced.
I don’t believe God wants any of us to be abused in any way. But I am talking about your everyday circumstances. Most of the time compromise is the key to solving the problem. If you have a reoccurring issue that cannot be solved on your own, I suggest counseling. See a licensed marriage counselor, someone who is objective that can help you navigate through your issues.
As I stated in the beginning, marriage is a lot of work. However, the good news is that while love is not enough to sustain a marriage, when you add these four ingredients together, you can have a healthy, successful, and enjoyable marriage.
Cami A. Johnson believes healthy marriages are the key to strong communities. The family unit affects every area of society. She affirms that having information on how to have successful marriages is the key. She resides in metro Detroit with her husband of 7 years.