Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer from Ohio, where she lives with her husband and two kids. Visit her blog, TheYoungMommyLife.com, for daily musings about the issues young moms face.
My husband and I decided to do a little role reversal and it has been the best thing to happen to our marriage.
Now, before you start imagining us role-playing (me in the naughty school outfit and all), it’s not that type of role reversal. This isn’t Usher’s “Trading Places” video.
My husband has taken two weeks off work and he decided to keep the kids home with him to get some much-needed quality time with our daughter and son. Since I used all my paid-time off for maternity leave, I’m working pretty much every day during this holiday season.
With this set-up, he can see how I felt during my leave when I had both kids all day. He can see how much work it is to keep a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old happy and content, especially when both are competing for your attention.
On the flip side, I got to see what my husband was dealing with when, after working a full day at work, I arrived home to a house full of fussing kids and a worn-out spouse who expects you to pick up the slack so they can get a break.
I begun to see why he balked when I shoved the kids at him the second he walked in the door, before he even had a chance to take off his coat. And he got to see how badly I needed a break after dealing with two clingy kids all day.
While it may not be possible (or logical) for you all to switch places for a week or two, simply putting yourself in the other person’s shoes can do wonders for your relationship. Next time you get grumpy toward your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, ask yourself:
- Is he/she dealing with something else I might not have considered? A long day at work, a negative remark from a coworker, kids just won’t listen?
- If I were in his/her shoes, would I feel like listening to someone who’s shrill and demanding, or someone who is calm and rational? What’s the best way to approach this?
These past two weeks have taught us to respect the effort we each put into this relationship, the amount of work it takes on both ends to keep the Jefferson household running smoothly.
BMWK readers, have you ever tried a similar experiment? How did it go? Would you try this if given the chance? What do you think the resuLet us know in the comments.