One of the first things I realized 14 years ago when I first got married was…this is HARD work! I mean, it’s worth it in the long run, but nevertheless it’s hard work. So one day I started thinking, how much better our marriages would be if we treated them like we treat our 9-5’s?
So check out 5 ways that you can improve your marriage if you treated it like you treat your job.
1. Have Meetings
At my last job, I supervised 10 people and the ONLY way we were able to stay on point was to have weekly meetings. And, this is something I decided to take home and do with my wife, Tanya. We started meeting every two weeks with a meeting agenda and a calendar just like I did with my staff. We’d cover money, bills, Naomi’s needs (our daughter) and our needs. Questions like, how much is in the savings? Do we need to tighten down with money this week? Where are we thinking about going on vacation this year? When does Naomi start dance class? were all answered during these meetings.
Too many times with life racing at us at 100 miles per hour too many of these questions go unanswered. And that’s how things start to fall apart. More importantly, this is a great time to check in with your spouse to make sure that both of ya’ll are good.
2. Plan to Make Things Better
Too many times when a spouse is telling their significant other how they feel about the marriage or that certain things need to change, it’s going in one ear and right out the other. But if your supervisor called you into their office and gave you a list of things you need to improve, we’re all ears. We’re taking notes and already trying to figure out ways to get better before we even leave their office. Imagine how many more happy marriages we’d have if we did that for our spouse?
3. Keep Working Hard (No Slacking Off)
When we’re interviewing for a new job, we’re at the interview 20 minutes early, we’re dressed to the tee and we’re on point. Then two weeks after starting the job, we’re asking our coworkers questions like, how much time do we REALLY get for lunch? Or how early can we leave? It’s like we go through all of this work to get the job… and then we start slacking. And the same thing happens in our marriages. So let’s not get lazy now that we’re married. In all honesty, now is the time to step your game up!
4. Be as Dedicated to Your Marriage as You Are to Your Job
I have friends who are SO dedicated to their jobs, they work 10-12 hours days, 6 days a week because they want to move up the corporate ladder or because they want to prove their worth so they can ask for more money. My challenge is if you can do that for your job, you’ve gotta match that with time that you’re putting into making your marriage better. Spend 6 days a week trying to make your spouse smile, doing the things that you know they like . Trust me, the payback from a happy spouse is worth SO much more then that bigger office you’re trying to get your hands on.
5. Understand that You Can Lose Your Job
Now I know for certain folk, they hate when I say this…but the truth is the truth. If you keep slacking off at your job, you’re gonna get fired. Yeah, you may get a verbal warning (your spouse asking you to change something or do something more.) Then, you get a written warning (them asking you again and again and again and again.) Next, it’s a week’s suspension without pay (going to marriage counseling with threats of leaving if things don’t change.) But eventually…you’re gonna get fired. And it’s the same with your marriage. If you keep ignoring the pleas from your spouse to make things better or to change things then eventually (and in some marriage “eventually” may be 10 years) you’re going to lose them. Whether you lose them to an affair, to those divorce papers or they mentally check out of the marriage…the moral of the story is you’re gonna lose them.
Understand that the position that you currently hold in your marriage is not guaranteed, so act like you wanna keep it.