Many of us know someone who is in a troubled marriage. You may not know how it got to that point, but you may have a front seat to the bad behavior going on in the relationship. But if you think that friend has no influence on your marriage, then think again.
I want to encourage you not to allow other people’s marriage problems to infect your marriage. The bad habits and problems can infiltrate your marriage, and the next thing you know, you’ve taken home their mess like a bad case of bed bugs.
If you notice the couple you hang with disrespects each other very often and means it, be aware. You may think that’s just their way of communicating with each other. Positive communication doesn’t include disrespect, so before you find yourself mistreating your spouse, you need to stay away from them.
If you notice that the half of the couple you hang with constantly flirts or even has affairs with other folks, beware. Sometimes people will encourage you to engage in the same type of bad behavior. If your friend doesn’t encourage you, that’s good. I know someone who almost had an affair after hanging with someone that was having an affair. My friend thought they could play counselor, it didn’t work. Be very careful because if you are not strong enough, you may find yourself in that same situation so you need to stay away from them.
If you notice that you and your spouse start arguing more frequently after being in contact with that couple, beware. This has happened to me and my husband. It is very real. It may take a few arguments for it to dawn on you that your arguments/fights have become more frequent or happen after one or both of you have been hanging around the troubled couple, so you need to stay away from them.
If you are not a licensed counselor, do not try to fix what’s wrong in that couple’s marriage. The only thing you can do is pray for them. Do not exhaust yourself trying to be friend and counselor. Give that troubled couple space to work on their marriage because they are the only ones that can save the marriage.
Do not cut off all communication, you can be there when necessary, but you may want to keep somewhat of a distance until their relationship is healthy. Those unhealthy habits of a bad couple can be contagious, so you need to stay away from them.
Encourage your friends to seek professional help if they desire to stay in the marriage. If they refuse, you need to decide what is best for you as a husband/wife first before you make the choice to spend a lot of time with the troubled couple. Again, don’t allow the bad habits of an unhealthy couple to infect your relationship because trouble begets trouble.
BMWK Family, what would you do if your friend is in an unhealthy marriage?