We’ve all seen that couple at a nearby restaurant table, sitting in silence with tension, anger, and sadness seated like uninvited guests –guests who refuse to leave until someone is mature enough to apologize. I recognize that couple because my husband and I have been them on numerous occasions.
However, after 16 years of marriage, we don’t allow problems to progress to that point anymore. Neither do we sit awkwardly over food that doesn’t taste good because we’re not feeling good about our marriage. Today, when I see that couple, I remember the feeling, and I say to my husband, “Let’s not go back there again.”
We don’t want to be that couple in the restaurant or the couple who is . . .
Distant and cold toward each other
Friendly roommates who share a house together
Happy in public but miserable in private
Cursing and hitting like it’s a regular occurrence
Drowning in loneliness even after a decade of marriage
Belittling and negative about each others’ dreams and appearance
Being that couple seems like a waste of life to me. Frankly, I hated the times my husband and I didn’t communicate well or when we were emotionally distant from each other. The deep love we share would not let us go on living in so much pain. We had to break free by doing whatever it took not to be that couple. And, when we decided to grow up, to humble ourselves, and to live like the Christians we professed to be, we were able to see what type of couple we could be:
Spouses in-sync with each other emotionally, spiritually, and physically
Best friends who laugh uncontrollably
Lovers who are free to be wild and spontaneous
Cheerleaders who never stop encouraging each other
Business and ministry partners working to better our community
Authentic examples for our child and others who look up to us
That’s the type of couple we desire to be. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the hard work. And because my husband and I love to try new restaurants together, we vow not to waste our time or our money eating in silence. There is no room at our table for that couple anymore.
BMWK, what type of couple do you want to be?