After yesterday’s primaries in Florida, Ohio, North Carolina, Missouri and Illinois, it’s looking more evident Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee. This puts him one step closer to the Oval Office. Everyone doubted his chances up until this point, so it would be wise to consider the very real possibility Trump could be our next president. So from now until the general election, I’d like you all to ponder what a Donald Trump presidency might look like.
1. ObamaCare, you’re fired
Trump will seek to repeal ObamaCare by any means necessary. And uninsured Americans may be asked to perform a series of tasks and then duke it out in the boardroom before doctors will decide which uninsured patient will receive medical treatment.
You should note, the critically injured and ill are at a disadvantage in these boardroom challenges, so try your best not to get stabbed, shot or deathly sick under a Trump presidency.
2. Mr. Vice President West
The Donald will want to choose a running mate, who has the same outsider background that got him this far. That person may very well be Trump’s celebrity pal Kanye West, who announced his political aspirations last year.
If West is Vice President, then he and all the Kardashians will from henceforth be considered bona fide “foreign affairs” news. The citizens of the world will be forced to keep abreast of all things Kardashian. If not, your peers will consider you uninformed and apathetic toward world affairs.
3. Views from the 6
Google announced Internet searches for “How I can move to Canada” jumped by 350 percent after Trump performed well in the Super Tuesday primaries. Many Americans will likely make good on their desires to move across the northern boarder.
Canadian rapper Drake will open his in-home basketball court as a refugee camp for the fleeing Americans.
4. Set Your Clocks Back
In lieu of daylight saving time, women will be required to set their clocks back by 100 years. From March to November, women should be seen and not heard. Minorities will also be affected. “The Blacks” will be strongly advised to respond and answer to “Bro.”
5. The Great Wall
Trump will convince the Mexican government to build a wall, securing our border. However, as part of those negotiations, Americans will be asked to secede the state of Texas. The region will be an independent state called Texico.
All enemies of the State (or simply just Trump’s foes) will be banished to Texico until Trump can get the First Amendment nullified.
These are not actual predictions, and this article is solely meant to be viewed as satire.
BMWK: All jokes and satire aside, what do you think will come of a Trump presidency?