Marriage is a commitment, a pledge or the engaging of oneself. It’s one of the areas in our lives we should totally be all in. All in with our time, energy and effort. The wedding vows we exchanged with our spouse was a reminder of what should be expected of us after we said our “I Dos”. It is easy to make those promises, but sometimes hard to keep.
The reason it’s a challenge staying fully committed to our partner, is because of what else in our life we allow to take the best of us. Which leaves almost nothing left for our spouse. It’s time we took a deeper look at what else we may be married to and how to get some of the energy focused back on our spouse.
1. Your job or business?
Of course a paycheck is how we survive and provide for our family. We have to be devoted to our work in order to be successful. The same can be said for our marriage. We have to be devoted to it in order for it to be successful.
Willing to work overtime, bringing innovative ideas, possessing a drive to succeed (thinking about the end result, a healthy marriage) is how every couple should approach their relationship.
2. Your parenting?
There is no greater responsibility than being a parent. Shaping the futures of our little ones is a role we cannot take lightly. Reading books on parenting and asking for advice from more seasoned parents should also happen in our relationship. There are far too many resources for us to still be facing the same marriage challenges.
We have to also remember we are teaching life lessons to our children through our daily actions. Those little ones are observing how we manage stress, run a household and handle a love relationship. As we prepare them for successful lives of their own, we must know that having a marriage we want them to pattern theirs after, is the goal.
3. Your sorority or fraternity? Being committed to service and the empowerment of other men and women can be draining. It requires your dedication, ideas, and most importantly, your time. Your spouse needs the exact same thing from you.
Dedication means you’ll make your spouse a priority, bring new ideas on how to please him/her and keep your marriage flame burning.
4. Your friends?
We usually set aside special time just to hang out with the girls or the guys, and we look forward to it. Ever notice how we bring our best attitude and energy to those night outs? We sometimes treat our friends better than our spouse. We are quicker to give a friend the benefit of the doubt, listen to their side of the situation and even forgive a little easier. One thing most couples forget is that your spouse should be your best friend and always treated as such.
5. Your hobbies?
We sometimes go all in with our hobbies. Looking for ways to enhance the skills in this area or even taking classes, are a few of the ways we support our pleasurable pastime. We might also talk to others about it or use it as a way to relax or escape the day-to-day.
What if we felt that same way about our marriage? Can you imagine how strong marriages would be if we thought of them as something that brought a certain sense of peace and calm, something we looked forward to participating in?
Of course we all have lives outside of our marriage and that’s fine. Those other areas need not be a disturbance to our marriage. They shouldn’t be so time consuming that we have nothing left to give our most sacred relationship. If they are, we have to be willing to make some alterations, so that our spouse feels like our number one priority.
BMWK, what else are you married to?