Like many, I used to be caught up in all things Scandal. Weekly, I watched the lives of Olivia Pope, Fitz (Fitzgerald) Grant and Jake Ballard intertwine in a twisted love triangle.
However, as of late, I have been intrigued to see how Shonda Rhimes would have the adulterous private relationship between Oliva and Fitz, play out in public.What ramifications, if any, they would face.
Related: How to overcome 6 barriers to forgiveness after infidelity threatens your marriage
But I was taken aback by a plot twist. Olivia and Fitz could finally be together, however, it wasn’t what Olivia really wanted. In actuality, she was torn between paying the ultimate price of losing her career and independence to be with the man she risked it all for in the first place.
I was completely shocked. But, isn’t this art imitating life? There are so many people who are involved in twisted love triangles, a forbidden relationship, or with a person they just had to have.
But when the opportunity presents itself to go to the next level, they are no longer interested. Why? Was it the thrill of the chase? Were their expectations of the other person too high or was it that they weren’t sure what they really wanted in the first place?
We all have been there, thinking we want one thing and then realizing we want something else. While we search for our true desires, we leave a trail of hurt people behind.
Before embarking on a new relationship, take time and learn from your relational mistakes and make the necessary changes in order to heal and become whole again.
Related: 10 Scriptures to help you heal after a bad break up
This is the only way you will be able to cultivate healthy, authentic relationships. If you don’t, you will continually fail in this area of your life.The best way to start is to determine what you want, desire and require in a relationship, from yourself and from others. Ask yourself questions, such as:
- What do I want in my relationships?
- Are my relationships meeting my needs? How can I I communicate my needs?
- Am I being treated the way I want to be treated?
- Do I have realistic expectations of others and myself?
- Am I being the friend to others that I desire them to be to me?
- If people treated me the way that I treated them (especially when they are not around) would I be pleased?
If your relationships are not where you want them to be, what changes can be made to reach that desired goal? In order to have authentic relationships, we have to be honest with ourselves.
Take time today to perform a relationship check-up. Write a list of your relationship desires, deal breakers, and expectations and see if your current relationships are measuring up to your standards.
If they are, GREAT! If not, it’s time to make some changes starting with you. A relationship check-up will help you achieve relational balance, allowing you to cultivate the productive relationship, you desire.
BMWK, do you need to a relationship check-up?