by Tara Pringle Jefferson
A few months ago, I found myself in a bit of a slump.
It started when I was laid off. At first, things were good because my kids didn’t immediately come out of daycare. I had a couple weeks to figure out my next move.
But then the kids came out of daycare.
I received my last severance check.
And suddenly it felt like I was on my own.
The fear of not being able to provide for my family, to not have a sense of direction anymore, to be overwhelmed by the tasks I assumed as a work-at-home mom with no babysitter ““ it was getting to me. Big time. And I didn’t like it.
So I decided to take a cue from my blogging buddy Denise after reading her post about blessings and being grateful. I began to look at my blessings. At first, I was reluctant. “I don’t feel like smiling, don’t feel like being positive,” I told myself. Can’t I just wallow in this self-pity for a minute?
But wallowing in self-pity gets me feeling unproductive and for me, THAT’S the worst feeling I can have. So I began to list everything I felt I should be grateful for:
- My kids. They are beyond a doubt the best little people in whole world. I love them more than anything and being home with them is challenging, but I won’t ever get to do this again. My daughter starts school in the fall and from there? They just continue to get older. So this is my “last chance” for full-on involvement in their daily lives. Gotta be grateful for that.
- My husband. He’s here, ain’t he? LOL. He’s a great support system and he’s getting better at determining when I need to be counseled or when I just need to be held.
- My family. On days when I’m feeling particularly low, like I’m not doing anything particularly well, they come to my rescue. What every mom needs.
- My bank account. I stress about money every single minute of every single day, but the fact is, our bills somehow get paid. Sometimes I check my balance and I swear my money is multiplying because there’s no way I should have that much. Seriously. I’ve done my budget a bunch of times and we should be just squeaking by. But we’re not. Which is miraculous.
- My choices. I had choices right now. I could apply for jobs, or I could focus on school, or I could just be a stay-at-home mom. All of these choices were stressing me out because I wanted to make sure I made the right ones. I was terrified that my decisions might negatively affect my family. But my future is mine. It’s what I choose. That should make anyone rejoice.
This little exercise comforted me and gave me confidence that I am on the right path, my life is GOOD, and whatever fear I’m feeling right now is the prelude to something magnificent. Every morning I wake up and say to myself, “Something good, something positive is on its way to my life.” I feel it and I am ready.
Go ahead and share ““ what are you grateful for?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.