Last night, Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder battled the San Antonio Spurs in the best of four series for the NBA Western Conference Semifinals.
For those of you unfamiliar with Kevin Durant (and therefore basketball altogether, obviously), you probably recognize him more from the popular meme, which surfaced on the web after his 2014 acceptance speech for the NBA MVP title. In the speech, Durant, who fought back tears, publicly thanked his mother, saying “You the real MVP.”
The words and the image of a weepy Durant instantly became Internet fodder. Furthermore, one of the most circulated Internet memes coincidentally involves another basketball great (if not the greatest, but save your G.O.A.T. arguments for another post). In this case as well, the popular image on every timeline is not of “Jumpman Jordan” but unfortunately of “Crying Jordan.”
So I ask: why is it that funny to see men cry? It’s not like these men were sobbing over who got kicked off of Dancing with the Stars the previous night. They were overcome with genuine emotion. Both were being celebrated for their achievements—pinnacle achievements, which would understandably bring many men to tears (FYI, Jordan’s tears were during his Hall of Fame ceremony).
As a mother to a baby boy, I began to think. What does this say to our little boys? “Hey, you can grow up to achieve anything you want, be as great as you want, but just know the minute you show some emotion, you will, quite literally, be considered a joke.” Should I teach my young son to be stoic at all costs? Is emotion something that won’t be valued in him? And if so, how will these lessons impact his emotional health?
I admit, I’m guilty of laughing at a few of these very same memes, but I’m also aware of the dangers. There is a danger—no matter what gender—in telling humans to shun their human qualities. It’s natural to release your emotions. Studies suggests there are solid health benefits to crying.
So I ask fellow parents, what lessons will you teach your sons about emotion? And do you think it’s okay for men to cry?
Lastly, if you missed it, Lifetime recently aired the story of Kevin Durant’s mother Wanda Durant. Click here to find an upcoming show time or read more about it on NBC BLCK. Maybe you too will be moved to tears.