A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article about three jobs that my husband HAS to do in our marriage. While these jobs may seem small, he is required to do them in rain, sleet, snow, natural disaster and quite possibly even when the world ia ending. While none of the jobs are “serious,” they help make my life easier. And for that, I appreciate that he does them without much complaining. The only problem was that after I wrote that article, I was constantly being asked what my job as a wife was. Now of course, my job as his wife is to love him, support him and help be his “backbone.” But in marriage, there are other “jobs” that I have that go without discussion.
After weeks of considering my job in our marriage, I’m ready to let everyone know my “unspoken”jobs in our marriage–the good, bad and ugly:
- It’s my job to go to bed in something sexy every night. A couple of years ago my husband came home and very calmly told me, “I need you wearing something sexy every night. ” At first I wanted to question this strange request but instead I said, “if you buy it, I’ll wear it.” He has and thats what I do. I realize that men are visual creatures and if I can make my husband happy by not wearing my “moo moo” to bed then that’s the least I can do to make him happy. Some nights if he’s really tired I can sneak in bed in my sweats and tee shirts and for those nights I’m grateful.
- I have to go grocery shopping when it’s more than a day’s worth of food. If I forgot to get dinner one night then my husband is fine to pick up a couple of items but anything more is a recipe for disaster. Early in our relationship, I’d send him to the store to pick up items and he’d come back with all the wrong brands and with food items that NO ONE (but him) eats! Or if I send him with a specific list he takes important items off because he thinks they’re too expensive! I can remember one time that I was making a dish with seafood in it, and when my husband saw that price for shell fish, he immediately crossed it off the list and got some other meat to use. When he got home, we were ALL mad that we couldn’t eat our favorite dish. Needless to say, I gladly take over the grocery shopping every week!
- I’m regulated to sending food back at the restaurant if it’s not good or speaking to a manager if service not good. I’m a stickler for getting great service where we are spending our money at. My husband is really laid back, so many times he’ll be quiet if service isn’t great and just cross the establishment off his “list” for future visits. However, if something is not right with the service, I am notorious for making sure the server and/or manager knows about it. Therefore, whenever something goes wrong in an eating establishment I already know to “handle it” with either a complaint or returning food while my husband sits back and chuckles at my neurosis. I accept that it’s my job.
- If a problem arises at one of the kids school, I’m responsible for going and “squashing” it. My husband works a very demanding job. Most days he works 12 hour days so that does not leave him much time to handle issues at any of our three kids schools. Once he drops them off in the morning, it’s my responsibility to handle any issues that may arise during the day. If there’s an issue with a grade, I handle it. If one of our children is having a conflict at school, it’s my job to handle it. Last year, the school called me when my oldest was sick and because my job is less demanding, I knew not even to call my husband so I handle it. I’ve worked in education for the past ten years, so I know that some terms in education my husband just doesn’t understand so it’s better for me to handle education issues. . However, there are times he comes with me to the school (Parent Teacher Conferences, School games, Open House, etc.) but for the most part I handle school issues.
There you go ladies and gentlemen–4 jobs that I as a wife has to do–can you relate?
BMWK – In the end, there are jobs that I don’t do as a wife and there are jobs that my husband doesn’t do as a husband? But we’ve made it work for our marriage. Do you have specific jobs that you will not/refuse to do as wife? What about your husband? How have you made that work for your family?