By Bil Mooney-McCoy
I have made it a point to avoid writing about controversial issues in public forums, preferring face to face conversations in the context of pre-existing or developing relationships. But I am uncharacteristically compelled to offer these thoughts and suggestions in wake of the events in Missouri last week, particularly as I’ve read postings from friends and strangers and as I observe the tone and emotionally charged passion in engagement online.
First, some context. What happened in Ferguson brings into focus, once again, the troubled history of this nation’s law enforcement structures and their relationship with minority communities, particularly when confrontationally engaging African American and Hispanic youth.
And therefore, it takes on highly racial overtones. For some, it confirms already deeply held negative convictions about this nation’s racial dynamics. For others, it calls into question assumptions; a time of heart-breaking disillusionment. For others still, it may be frustrating that these events are viewed through such a radicalized lens and not seen simply as one policeman’s possible mishandling of an engagement with a belligerent teenager.
And when people attempt to engage from such varied and highly charged perspectives, sparks fly. So, in the paragraphs that follow, my goal is not to give the “right” answer. No, simply some suggestions as to HOW to engage in times like this.
Newsflash: I am Michael Brown’s father. It’s that personal.
To my majority culture friends: please understand this. We are angry, we are hurt, we feel betrayed. Again. This isn’t based on one grand jury’s decision. It is borne out of and reinforced by both personal and historical experience. Most of us have experienced unfair treatment at the hands of legal authorities or are close to someone who has. So, I encourage you, if not implore you, take this time to listen, and to weep with those of us who weep. And in private conversations, humbly ask questions with the goal being to understand and not devalue or judge the validity of our feelings and perspectives. And give space. You wouldn’t engage Michael Brown’s father in dispassionate, fact-based, technical debate on this. Newsflash: I am Michael Brown’s father. It’s that personal. Walk with us as we grieve.
To my people (and those from minority cultures able to empathetically relate): We are in pain. We are afraid for our safety. We feel disenfranchised once again. I get that. I would never ask you not to feel angry. But if you can’t engage civilly with those who disagree, then don’t engage with them. Do your venting but in a private, safe environment. Let us act publicly with poise, class, and reason. And fairness. Cease judging those who don’t see it your way as ignorant or bigoted. Abandon the blanket accusations and vilifications. Let our manner contrast with the continued misappropriation of justice this country is still plagued with. To do otherwise is as ineffective in promoting productive discourse and change as looting a liquor store.
We’re better than that.
BMWK, Have you had the hard conversation with your White friends about Ferguson?
Bil Mooney-McCoy is a native of Boston, married for 33 years and father of three adult children. Bil is the Director of Chapel Worship at Gordon College, outside of Boston. And, he’s a computer programmer, freelance musician, an ordained minister, and he has been a speaker or facilitator presenting on topics including sexual addiction, marriage and relationships, music ministry, and racial reconciliation. His passions include his morning coffee, finding new guitar chords, creating killer PowerPoint presentations, and watching how fast his oldest daughter can text her friends. Click here for more information about Bil Mooney – McCoy https://www.newcitymusicboston.com/lessons/