by Reginald Williams
The Ball has dropped and 2011 has shut the door on 2010. The euphoria of the New Year has many impregnated with New Year resolutions. There are resolutions to lose weights; some to return to school and others to reacquaint oneself with pledges not yet achieved.
The New Year’s Resolution tradition began more than 4,000 years ago when Julius Caesar paid homage to Janus, the god of the beginning and the end. The legend has Janus ““ also known as the guardian of the doors and entrance ““ being able to simultaneously see into the future and the events of the past.
As you settle into the next 300 plus days of your marriage, what door(s) will you close on the past as you simultaneously look into the New Year? What resolutions will steer your marriage for 2011? It makes no different if you’re living in wedded bliss or what appears to be a martial bust; a plan for your marriage is critical to achieve and enjoy success. What follows are three resolutions you might consider as you journey through the New Year. Remember, “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.”
1) Lose weight
Obesity is a disease quickly serving as the cause of death in many marriages. Couples continue to carry the extra weight of their past which obstructs them from arriving at the blessing of their future. Drop the weight of past failures so that you gain the energy to aggressively move towards your future prosperity. Stop dragging failures of the past in into the possibilities of your future. Know that you can’t serve two masters. You’re either going to serve the possibilities of prosperity or the disappointment of a poor precedent. I trust that you’ll choose the possibilities of prosperity.
2) Return to school
Problems never serve as valid reasons why marriages struggle or fail. Instead it is how those problems are dealt with that either serves as a launching pad for marital bliss or the anchor that sinks a marriage. Many married couples are ill-prepared to live “Happily Ever After” because they lack the skills needed to navigate those conflicts that will arise. Join a Marriage Ministry (see Ronnie Tyler’s recent article the importance of Marriage Ministry), attend a marriage retreat, enroll in a series of workshops or invest time reading books that offer the instruments for marital fulfillment.
3) Reacquaint yourself with a resolution not yet achieved
Financial responsibilities complemented by working long arduous hours to address the burden of those responsibilities. The demands of being a parent, a spouse and a member of any number of organizations (church, fraternities/sororities etc.,) oftentimes create a wedge driving a subtle disconnection between a husband and wife. This year make sure you stop and take time to reacquaint yourself with why you vowed your life to your spouse. Revisit a place of nostalgia that once presented you with fond memories. Look through those old 45’s, 33’s (for you old heads) or compact disc and listen to those songs that return you to a time, place and space when things were “˜on and popping.’ Allow yourself to be kidnapped and tucked away in those fond memories. Remember you once made the ultimate resolution when you said, “I do” to the vow of “˜til death do us part.’
It’s been said that there is nothing better than a marvelous marriage. However, in contrast there’s nothing worse than a miserable one. So for the New Year, initiate a revolution to live as one in marital jubilation opposed to letting the Ball drop on your marriage.
Reginald Williams, an Award-winning journalist and Certified Relationship Coach, is the co-founder of Marriage Nectar, a marriage and relationship enrichment company and the author of the blog www.ruleyourwife316.com. You can follow Reggie on Twitter at Twitter.com/Ruleyourwife or contact him at www.marriagenectar.com.