As I reflect on Father’s Day, I came to a realization. The realization is that so many times in relationships or marriages instead of men being viewed as partners or priorities, they are merely viewed as accessories. While he might not be craving the attention openly (because men aren’t raised that way), it doesn’t mean he doesn’t desire acknowledgement and appreciation. Here are a few ways you can help him feel like more than just a accessory!
1) Show a little appreciation
Too often in life and in love we get caught up in keeping score, and we forget that the goal is just to win. Okay, maybe you do more in some areas than he does, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t do anything to help you and the family. If he is a good partner, don’t get caught up in the “I do more” or “that’s what he’s supposed to do” mindset, and instead just show a little
appreciation from time to time. More often than not that’s all he really wants from you.
2) Actually care about his opinion
A lot of time men can become really passive in relationships because they don’t feel like their opinion is valued. Have you ever asked for your husband’s opinion, then ignored it and did what you wanted to anyway? So the next time you ask, you’ll likely say, “I don’t care” or “it doesn’t matter” because he knows you aren’t truly interested in his input. If you want him to be engaged, then don’t just ask his opinion, value it.
3) Don’t just treat him good on Facebook
You might be quick to post a picture of him on social media, talking about he is your king or showing date nights and such, but do you really treat him that way offline? Do you really show him those levels of affection when no one is watching and or do you spend more time dwelling on all of the wrong, being passive aggressive and forgetting to make him feel valued and wanted? Does he get the leftovers of your attention and affection or does he get first dibs? While it looks good for your audience…does it feel good for your man when it’s just the two of you left?
4) Make sure your children see his contribution
Sometimes mom is so heavily involved in all of the details she ends up getting all of the credit. This isn’t to take anything away from mothers, but it is to say that sometimes the father’s contributions come in different ways that aren’t always as noticeable. Sometimes it’s his providing, protecting, creating balance and peace in the home, and his presence. Sometimes it is that silent strength that gets overlooked, so be sure your children understand and appreciate his contributions beyond just on Father’s Day!
At the end of the day, I’m not saying that this should be some sort of competition, but I am saying to please be intentional about making your man feel like a priority and not an accessory. He’s human just like you, and he just wants to belong and to matter!
BMWK, what do you do to make your man feel appreciated?