As moms fight daily to do the absolute best we can for our children, there are just so many…politically incorrect questions that people ask of us all of the time. Pregnant, newbie or veteran mom, some questions are just awkward and shouldn’t be asked.
Check out these 14 questions that you just shouldn’t ask a mom:
1. You’re not getting much sleep are you? If she’s a new mom, she’s probably is not getting much of it, but that goes without saying and letting her know she looks like a walking zombie is totally inappropriate. If she’s a mom of a toddler, they are running the house and too busy to stay asleep so she’s probably not getting much then either. If she’s a mom with older kids, now she’s worried to death about who they are hanging out with and what they’re getting into. So yeah…probably not getting much sleep at that stage either.
2. For a newly married woman without children: So when are you having children? This question just assumes that all women want to have children, and that is not the case. But even if she does, why exactly is it your concern when she wants to have a baby?
3. For a mom with one child: So when are you having another one? Again, the assumption that she wants more children is there. But can she enjoy her first child and decide when/if to have another one without announcing it to the world?
4. For a mom with two boys: So are you going to try for a girl now? Yes, because we have absolute control over determining the sex of our baby. I know plenty of moms who only wanted boys, and to ask them this question would be an offense to them.
5. For a mom with two girls: So are you going to try for a boy now? Same as above.
6. For a mom with one boy and one girl: You have your complete set so you’re all done, right? This question used to irk the heck out of me because this is exactly what happened with us. But we had always said we wanted three children. And people just couldn’t understand why we were having another baby since we had our “set”. *insert side eye here* And now that we have three, we keep getting asked if we’re going to try for another boy so we can “even things out”. I’m sorry, what?
7. For a mom with more than three or four kids: At this stage no one even asks any questions. But best believe they’re making comments like, “Wow, they’re taking this ‘be fruitful and multiply’ thing to the extreme”. Or, “Haven’t they ever heard of birth control?” And I’m pretty sure they’re also thinking, “That must’ve been an accident, right?”. I have six brothers and sisters so I’ve always heard both of these and more growing up.
8. What made you decide to stay home? This can be a loaded question. So unless you’re looking for guidance because you are trying to take steps to do it yourself, just leave it alone. They will share if/when they want to.
9. Why did you decide to go back to work? See, this working mom vs. stay-at-home mom business just needs to stop. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to motherhood. And regardless of which side you’re on, it’s never enough or the “right” answer to whomever is asking the question.
10. Why did you decide to homeschool? It’s one thing to ask this question because you’re genuinely interested. But don’t ask it as if it’s the craziest and dumbest decision one can make. It comes off as “Why the heck would you want to homeschool?”
11. Is it a boy or a girl? I’m going out on a limb here just because this is what I did: When our son was born, we didn’t dress him in pink or purple, he was generally in blue, tan, brown, green, etc. And for both of my daughters, they were all pink’d and purple’d out. I’m thinking most of the time, when this question is asked, it should be fairly obvious.
12. How many kids do you want? What difference does it make really? And what if she wants one now but changes her mind later and decides she wants five? I didn’t necessarily get offended with close friends and family asking, but coming from a stranger, it’s just none of your business.
13. Anything about weight…unless you’re telling her how great she looks since she had the baby. That’s the only thing she needs/wants to hear.
14. (If pregnant) Are you sure you’re not having twins? Yes, I’m aware I’m huge, and no, I don’t need you to point that out to me. I think I would know if I was carrying more than one child.
BMWK: What questions would you add to the list that you don’t see here? Or, what are some clever responses to these questions that moms can use?