When we met, I was about 40-50 lbs lighter, a lot younger, carefree and spontaneous. Of course life has taken over and I am no longer that particular weight. I am older, a little more settled and the spontaneity is much less frequent. But even with those changes I know what sparked his initial interest will be some of the same things that keep it. After nearly 14 years of marriage I still put forth the extra effort to look good for my husband.
I don’t believe in relaxing (too much) as it relates to my marriage. So in addition to the amount of energy I contribute, it is a must I maintain my appearance. I am confident that my husband will still love me, but I want him to continue to desire me and be turned on by me. I will admit somewhere in our marriage I had begun to relax and my husband called me out on it. I was heading to bed with my head scarf, the printed comfy 2 piece pants pajamas and my thick socks and my husband said “Where are you going, Moms Mabley?”
Now I have nothing against Moms Mabley, I just don’t want my husband to have that image in his head when I come to bed. I appreciated his honesty and quickly took action. Now I’m not perfect, so Moms Mabley has resurfaced a time or two. But overall, I know what I want for my marriage and I am aware of what it takes to keep the physical attraction front and center.
It helps when my husband contributes to making me feel sexy and desired too. But I have to give him something to work with. One of the things I love is the sound effect he makes when I walk pass. I usually hear “Mmm hmmm,” which gives me great satisfaction. After children and weight gain, sometimes I don’t feel as sexy as I used to, but I am thankful my husband knows how to build me up. Even though he does his part, it is a must I do my part. Below is some of what I typically do.
I usually like to add a little extra to what I do. If I am walking by, an extra swish of the hips or an extra bend here or there always gets his attention.
After my workday has ended and I wait to meet my husband for our commute together, I usually reapply my lipstick ensuring it looks fresh just for him. I recall a co-worker asking why I would get all dolled up after work and I simply explained I liked to look good for my man.
As a result of the Moms Mabley comment, my new goal has become going to bed looking like I care. So while it may not be a lingerie night every night, I can still look desirable.
Another thing for me is to look extra sexy on date night. I frequently recall the start of our relationship and the dates we shared in the beginning, before we were married. Because I was trying to gain his long term interest, I went that extra mile in preparing myself for our outings. I still use that same mindset today.
I do all of this because there was an initial physical attraction when my husband and I met. I keep it in mind because I don’t ever want my marriage to lose that. I would like him to find me just as attractive as he did when he approached me all those years ago.
BMWK, what are some of things you do to keep the attraction in your marriage alive?