Men love confident women and when they are looking for the lady of their dreams, it’s one of the top qualities they desire. I feel you rolling your eyes, girl, because you may be thinking to yourself: Yeah right! These brothers out here are intimidated by women who are smart, successful and secure (and you’ve probably even had a guy act funny around you because of what you do for a living).
But the truth is, when men say they want a mate who is confident, they’re not talking about your ability to crush your career goals. They’re talking about being secure in who you are, what you need, and how you communicate it all – in a loving, but direct way.
This kind of confidence comes from knowing your worth as a woman. When you’re a secure woman who walks in her worth, there’s little drama in your relationships. Yes, there will be problems you have to solve and conflict you need to resolve, but that “here-we-go-again-she’s-about-to-snap-or-shut-down” type of drama isn’t the norm in how you deal with each other.
So let‘s talk about 19 things you should never do if you want to be a confident woman who can get the love, respect and “I-can’t-live-without-you” commitment from a good man:
1. Call or text him every couple hours to make sure you’re on his mind if you haven’t heard from him in a few days
2. Drop your plans when he calls last-minute
3. Wait 48 hours to reply to his text so you don’t look too needy
4. Leave in the middle of a fight hoping he’ll follow you and apologize
5. Make him feel jealous to get his attention
6. Give him the cold shoulder when he says something you don’t like
7. Keep quiet to keep the peace even if you don’t agree with what he’s doing
8. Criticize him
9. Snap, cuss him out, or act hostile toward him
10. Pulling away when things are going well because you feel scared
11. Nitpick on small imperfections like how he dresses or his body shape as a way to push him away
12. Keep score and playing tit for tat; noting the date and time of each conversation; paying attention to how long it takes him to return your calls; and then throwing it all in his face
13. Threaten to leave each time there’s a problem (but secretly hope he’ll chase you)
14. Act busy or unapproachable when he tries to make up with you
15. Make excuses for his bad behavior even though it’s hurtful
16. Get involved with someone knowing there’s no future possible with him (he’s married or doesn’t ever want to be married)
17. Keep him guessing about your true feelings
18. Stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t (or won’t) meet your needs
19. Give ultimatums to get what you want
Confidence in both partners sets the foundation for a healthy relationship. If you notice you are doing any of these insecure behaviors, it’s time to cultivate a newfound confidence and learn how to communicate your needs and desires to men in a brand new way. When you do, you’ll discover the wrong men will step out of your life and the right man will move into your life!
Let’s talk, BMWK: Did you see yourself on this list? If so, what’s one thing that needs to change in you so you can be more confident in relationships?