Many men will remain silent on issues that genuinely bother them in order to maintain peace in the home. We cannot speak for all men. Yet, it is a known fact that the majority of our men avoid “wife drama.” We ladies may call it by another name – talking it out, having a discussion, or an agreement to disagree. However, if it involves hands on hips, hurt feelings, tears, involving your mama, or the silent treatment for the next few days, to him this can be termed, “wife drama.”
Just because he avoids the conversations, doesn’t mean he appreciates the actions. Check out these three actions that may cause Your Husband To Secretly Resent YOU.
Trying To Be His Mother
Your man married a wife; not his mother. The days of trying to raise him and change him are long gone. Yes, you are his help mate but that is much different from mothering. If you find yourself talking to him the same way you do the children, press pause, see how you can approach him differently and respect him as the man in your life.
Not Allowing Him To Be the Father He Wants and Needs To Be
If he dressed your daughter and her clothes don’t match to your liking or her hair is not done to your standard, LEAVE IT BE. He may never mention the time he dressed his baby girl for church to help out only to have you talk about how her clothes didn’t match; yet you may be left wondering why he doesn’t help out as much the kids anymore.
If he tells the children to do one thing and you tell them to do another or you get on him when he disciplines the kids, then he may not mention it, but this could be reason for hidden resentment. Allow him to be dad. DON’T make decisions without him concerning the children. He WILL NOT parent the same way you do. Allow him to be dad without undermining each other’s position. We are talking about healthy parenting.
Talking To Others About Your Relationship
Men tend to be private. We women, on the other hand, usually feel better when we talk things out. Your mate knows when you have been talking to others about your relationship. He doesn’t want to work things out with your mom or your best girl friend, he wants YOU. If the two of you can’t work it out together find a counselor.
Check-in with your husband. Find out if any of these three things bother him. Ask with a loving heart, looking to better your relationship. This means you have to be prepared to accept his answer and not fight against it. You have asked him to express how he feels. There is no right or wrong. His feelings are his truth.
BMWK – let me know if you can relate. I have lived through and overcome ALL three of the above. For me the worst was probably allowing my husband to discipline our boys the way they needed to be. Can’t wait to hear from you.