It was Christmas of 2006, and my boyfriend had dumped me a few months prior. So that holiday, there would be no small boxes with bows, no ringing in the New Year with expectancy for what might happen and no “plus one” for the office Christmas party.
All around me, people were celebrating. Friends were getting engaged, buying gifts for their boos and celebrating peace, love and the birth of our Savior. But for me, it felt like there was spotlight on my singleness…and I felt sorta lonely.
Christmas and New Year’s can be tough for singles. But as friends, we have an opportunity to shower love on the singles in our circles.
So, this Christmas and New Year’s, I’m asking that you be intentional to celebrate and include, at least, one single you know and love in your holiday plans. Here’s a few suggestions…
Host a Dinner Party & Invite Every Good Brotha You Know…
A few months ago, my husband and I invited some friends out for dinner. There was about 20 of us, and it wasn’t until afterward that I noticed: there was not one single guy present! (Y’all, Imma do better.)
Host a dinner party, but scheme plan to make sure the single guys outnumber the single women. This almost never happens, and your lady friends will appreciate being the center of attention. Additionally, it’ll make your guests a bit more comfortable that you are the common link bringing everyone together. So the chances of crazies and stalkers are limited.
Buy Them Gifts
Sometimes, it’s easy to run through our Christmas list and limit it to family, the kids and our boos. But this year, include one single that you love and adore. Singles support us in so many ways:
- Babysitting
- Godparenting
- Trekking out to the ‘burbs to celebrate 1-year birthday parties
- Supporting our kids athletic events
- Being present and available
The holiday season is a great time to show how much you value their friendship…even though, you are at different stages in life. I recommend buying a gift that they may not buy themselves.
- Treat them to a day at the spa or massage.
- Buy them concert tickets.
- Or spring for a piece of reasonably-priced jewelry that the entire family picks.
The goal is to remind the single in your life that they are loved.
Write a Personalized Christmas Letter/Send a Care Package
Christmas letters and postcards are beginning to arrive in the mail. The pictures are beautiful. And it’s great to see all those smiling faces and matching outfits. But what if that barrage of mail is a constant reminder of what’s missing?
Pen a letter to your friend reminding/thanking them for how they’ve supported you over the past year. Ask your kids to make hand-written cards, thanking them for being an awesome Godparent. Or put together a care package of snacks, DVDs and other goodies they might like.
The Fine Line…
I imagine there is a fine line between expressing gratitude and what could be perceived as pity. This can be avoided by revisiting the time you were single. What would have been a meaningful gift for you? For me, it’s all about expressing how much my single friends add to my life…and not focusing on their status.
BMWK: What others ways can we connect with the singles in our lives over the holidays?